The Blog Cave

I love comics

2007-06-21T14:47:00.000+01:00

I love comics

Urgent: Storage space required

2006-01-05T17:57:00.000Z

Just as an accompaniment to Bat-Mac's post below, I give you these photos of some of his comics:

The Wisdom of Chuck Rozanski

2006-01-05T16:14:00.000Z

I love Mile High comics. Chuck Rozanski is an absolute legend. My collection of trade paperbacks would not be the same without him. He is a man who has dedicated himself to helping others achieve their dreams. I could wax lyrical about his contributions to collecting, and one day I shall. However, today I wish merely to share the following with you, in light of some of my dilemmas regarding the storage of my beloved comics. It is the last paragraph of his 31st December 2005 newsletter.

“In closing today's column, I want to give all of you a bit of advice. In every collector's life there inevitably arise moments of stress or weakness, when disposing of some, or all, of your collections seems like a good idea. Whatever you do, don't sell! Because of space constraints brought on by the birth of my four wonderful daughters, I was forced to put my comics into storage for over 20 years. I never gave up on the plan, however, that I would someday be able to find the space in which to enjoy them all over again. During the intervening 22 years I continued to collect, but could only add more boxes into my storage piles each year, without any organization. Now that I'm sorting everything out, however, I'm discovering that I have more than 10,000 (!) pre-1980 comics and fanzines in my personal collection, quite a few of which are so rare (such as very small press Underground Comix or 1950's Promotional Comics too scarce to be listed in Overstreet) that I have no idea about how I could ever replace them. The message that comes through to me loud and clear from this realization is that there is always some sort of storage available. You might just have to wrap your boxes in plastic and stack them in the garage for many years (or in the hay barn, as I did...), but the rewards that come from letting time pass are enormous! A great many comics that were relatively common in 1982, when my collection first went into storage, are now almost impossible to find. With each box I am opening, I am finding more great books that make me thank my lucky stars that I was able to preserve my collection intact through all those many years. Finding storage for your collection may sometimes be extremely difficult, but my experience has shown that going through the effort to preserve your collection can really pay off in the end!

You have spoken, oh mighty Chuck! I will never get rid of any of my comics again.

And a Happy New Year to you all.

... Not that there's anything wrong with that

2005-12-28T21:23:00.000Z

I think it's fair to say that both myself and Bat-Mac used to be of the opinion that of all the Marvel superheroes the gayest, as in most-likely-to-prefer-the-company-of-men*, was Thor. The long hair, the fruity language, always waving around his big penis-substitute of a weapon -- it's all just a little bit camper than your average Marvel.

That was until we stumbled across this image of Tony Stark a.k.a. The Invincible Iron Man:

'Nuff said?

* = although, as Homer might say, "Who doesn't?"

MY-ATUS

2005-11-29T13:34:00.000Z

Every third post can’t be an apology for not posting. But, I really feel I have to say it and take drastic measures.

This blog began as a way of channelling my writings and having a place where I could document the thoughts that my friends and I were having – a complement to our many many emails of fanboy banter. I also wanted to talk about comics and the way they impacted and interacted with my “normal” life, which I didn’t think many blogs were doing. My aim was never to get a huge number of readers. However, people (not many, but enough to make me happy) started leaving comments and this inspired me to try and post every day. And post-daily I did, until roughly the start of September.

However, absences such as exam leave or my three-weeks away in Washington have prevented regular updating. My workload has increased, and my recent exam success has meant more celebrating. The blog has fallen by the wayside. Even my reading has dropped off as I have been forced to pick up some “word books” (I have never been able to successfully juggle word book and comic book reading – I’m either exclusively into one or the other).

So, given all of this I have to

!) Apologise
2) Put this blog on “hiatus”.

This does not mean that there will not be any new material. I will be furiously writing when the opportunity arises. I merely wish would encourage you to come back here once a week as opposed to once a day and to peruse the archives in the absence of new material. When you see the pace of entries picking-up then please increase the frequencies of your return visits.

In the meantime take care of yourselves and let’s all build a better society. May Batman guide you all in whatever you chose to do.

Batman: Justice or Revenge?

2005-11-16T00:49:00.000Z

"Batman Begins"

Join Christianity in Politics and the Knights of Columbus to watch and discuss excerpts from this amazing film. The film explores the nature of crime and justice through the story of how Bruce Wayne becomes the Dark Knight. A passionate discussion will follow.

Sponsored by:

GU (Georgetown University) Christianity in Politics: A Non-Partisan Exploration
Knights of Columbus

Tuesday, November 15, 2005
8:00pm
GU ICC 107

I'm thousands of miles from home on the final day of my incredible trip to Washington, and I'm attending the above. If you read this in the next 5 minutes, it'll be good to see you there. Being British, I'm not sure how passionate I'll be able to get though!

The horizontal and the vertical

2005-11-09T05:10:00.000Z

What an honour

Notice the English spelling. That's all me!

Easy to look after, even easier to dispose of

2005-10-19T20:12:00.000+01:00

Now that's what's wrong with comics these days - you can't buy sea-monkeys from them anymore.

But exactly how can these delightful amazing, live pets be trained, did anybody ever figure it out?

What would Batman do?

2005-10-19T17:08:00.000+01:00

The aim of the game is simple. A situation will be outlined, and it will be the reader’s job to try and think what Batman would do, under the circumstances.

I appreciate that there are a number of different Batmen in existence. So, feel free to specify whether you mean Camp 60's Bats or Batman/Superman uber-Bats. I’ll give the blogohedron a day or two to suggest his actions before offering the solution.

Today’s dilemma:

You know that your best friend’s wife has cheated on him. You also know exactly who she was unfaithful with. They’ve been doing it for ages, and obviously you’ve know about it from day one – come on, you’re the World’s Greatest Detective. However, you put it to one side as you have bigger fish to deal with (e.g. the Joker, and his laughing fish).

However, you cannot ignore the issue any longer because your best friend asks you point blank whether you know if his wife is cheating on him.

What would Batman do?

Whoops, I didn't do it again.

2005-10-12T18:07:00.000+01:00

Apologies for the lack of updates – there’s been a huge increase in traffic on the site recently (great – thanks to all of you for reading) which has unfortunately coincided with an increase in business and busy-ness in other aspects of The Blog Cave (not so great). So all these new visitors have nothing to read. How annoying!

Fear not. Bear with us until Monday 17th October – we will kick-off a series of posts for which there will be near-daily ammunition. Posts which will have relevance to all our lives and tear apart the blogohedron in controversy (what's Infinite Crisis?).

Get ready for “WHAT WOULD BATMAN DO?”

...

He certainly wouldn't neglect his blog for this long, I know that!

Free Comments Day V - "...Then I hit him with the Hypersonics"

2005-10-06T16:37:00.000+01:00

It's been a while, but it's back. This is a strange “Free Comments Day” because the post is being written and put up before the comment (which will probably end up as a link to here!), but I had so many thoughts jump into my head upon reading “the object of my attention” that I’ve had to react immediately and at length. Yep – you’ve guessed, it was in reaction to something at The Absorbascon.

One of my favourite bloggers, Scipio, posted this.

In his response to one of the comments, he writes that he is “just trying to put (his) finger on why Batman is more popular than Superman, because the simplistic "superpowerless versus superpowered" doesn't explain it.”

So, someone wants to know why Batman is more popular than Superman, eh? As the hoi poloi are never wrong, surely this is indicative of the Bat’s superiority over the err… Super? Of course it is, and I’m going to tell the world why.

1. Batman has engrained himself into the popular psyche more then Superman: This is almost certainly thanks to the 1960s TV show. Since then the Batman movies, Animated, Batman Begins, even Dark Knight Returns have all helped to cement his position as the number one pop-culture icon in the world (a slightly biased statement!). In competition, Superman has had the films, Lois and Clark and his own Animated (which very few British norms I know have even heard of, let alone seen). The less said about the absolute, meritless turd that is S****ville, the better!

2. Won't somebody please think of the children: I can’t speak about America, where everyone is cool like in that documentary about life over there I saw called The O.C., but in Britain it tends to be pathetic nerds who read comics. Luckily, all tends to work out for the best, and the geek shall inherit the earth.

OK, offence to all aside, comics and science-fiction attract a readership from children who are on the whole brighter than others. When I was a kid my heroes were Odysseus, Doctor Who, Batman and MacGuyver. (I can just hear Homer shout “NEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRD!” from across the pond). What links these guys? – they all use their brains to solve problems. Batman has trained his mind to be able to do anything. And no piece of information was a waste, because he never knew when it would come in useful. When I was a lad, Batman wasn’t a paranoid whack-job, alienating friends and letting his spy satellites be taken over by other paranoid whack-jobs. He solved crimes in 22 pages. He was the World’s Greatest Detective, and he made me sit up and go “wow” whenever he reasoned something brilliant.

The counter-argument to this would be that he’s no slouch in the athletic department himself. But Batman’s athleticism is something self-taught and thus identifiable. He practises martial arts, a disciplined and scientific dispensation of violence, rather than Superman, who smacks people really hard.

3. Batman’s origin is the best in comics: On the way back from a movie Bruce’s parents are shot dead during a mugging and he decides to do something about it. Brilliant, simple and accessible. These are things you hear about on the news every day. It builds an illusion in the young mind that it really could have happened. The above two points are the crux of “superpowerless versus superpowered”.

4. Villains Galore: The campness of the 60’s popularised not only the Bat but his Rogue’s Gallery. If the same thing had happened to the Flash, we’d all be talking about Captain Boomerang, the Weather Wizard and the Top. Any comic fan worth his salt knows that Superman has a pretty lame Rogues Gallery. The only reason norms know Lex Luthor is because he’s the only villain consistently featured in all TV/Film interpretations of the Superman legend.

5. Matures with age: As you grow older, you realise the world is not as Black and White (or Superman and Bad Guys) as you thought when younger, and your appreciation of the grey world of Batman – one of the few mythic archetypes to have co-opted the tools of evil for the side of good – grows.

Grant Morrison once said that "Superman should be a huge, positive role model, an almost Christ-like force." I agree. If he only appeared in JLA, like the Martian Manhunter, that would be ideal. However, this treatment does not provide enough stories to sell three individual titles a month.

Not only is Batman cooler as a kid, Batman continues to be relevant as you grow older.

6. Batman is an ass-hole: It would upset the Dark Knight Detective himself if I didn’t look at the evidence and Occam-shave my way to a sensible conclusion, but currently the Caped Crusader is a tosser. When Batman’s fall began in War Games I was upset at first. But I soon realised that even the very best make mistakes. And that’s realistic. Batman’s mistakes can occur because his body may fail him, or his mind may not be quick enough, or his emotions (pride) can cloud his judgement. Superman’s body won’t fail him – he could only be killed by things that are unbelievably powerful (see next point). Superman’s mind shouldn’t fail him. He’s rarely in situations where strategy form the biggest part of his arsenal, and even when he is they are never so fiendishly complex as to be inescapable. If Superman displays any emotional weaknesses, he just appears to be a whiny brat, who’s got everything but still finds a way to complain.

7. Faster than a Speeding Bullet?: Not anymore. Nowadays, Superman is “Faster than a launching rocket, more powerful than an atomic bomb, able to leap between worlds in a single bound” (Superman- the 10c Adventure). The more powerful he gets, the more difficult it becomes to write stories about him where the stakes are high-enough that you care. This “unquantifiable-ness” of Superman’s power (a definite Marvel trait that) makes one lose touch with him. On the other hand, one bullet or broken back (!) and the Bat’s gone (not withstanding Shondra Kinsolving’s magic touch).

8. Must be the reason why he's King of the Castle: Bats has acted as an inspiration to others who have sought to join the fight with him (Babs/Batgirl, Tim/Robin, Steph/Spoiler/Robin). Cass/Batgirl wants to succeed him and Nightwing was pissed off when he didn’t get that chance during Knightquest. Even Old Skool Jim Gordon saw the adventurer he never was in the Bat (how Silver Age!). By definition, few/none could be Superman.

While Batman’s combined abilities are beyond belief, he is an asymptote that one can aspire to. Superman is an incomprehensible infinity, so archetypal and paragon as to end up collapsing under his own weight.

Q.E.D.

It's raining comics and blogs

2005-10-05T14:01:00.000+01:00

I’m an idiot. And I need help.

This may not seem like such a revelation to anyone who has been reading this blog regularly. However, today’s point of idiocy revolves around the number of comics I have.

I often rant about this to nerds and norms alike, and now I feel the whole world (or at least Spider-Sam (who’s heard it before) and rheiny) needs to hear it.

I have too many comics. They are currently split across three sites. Most of them (13 long boxes, plus two other large boxes yet to be sorted.) are in my parents’ home and are visited at Christmas. Almost all the rest are in my room in London. Finally, there’s a small stash at a friend’s place which I bought when I flew from Edinburgh to London for a comic fair and couldn’t be bothered to lug back to Edinburgh only to transport back to London at some point. These include a copy of JLA #2 I finally found for a decent price and lots of Kyle Rayner Green Lantern back issues. .

My room in London is tiny, and yet I’ve still found a way to fit in seven long boxes, four short boxes and piles and piles of comics I have to carefully tread over before I can get into my tiny single bed. There are also 400 comics currently in the living room which I had to transport down from Edinburgh by courier. However, my collection is growing (through ongoing series and back issues bought at fairs) at a rate of one long box a month and has been doing so for the last year. The situation has got to such an untenable position that something drastic needs to be done, and fast.

Here are my options:

1. Put some comics into storage. I can send lesser comics to a big warehouse for a fixed charge per month and periodically go and visit them to look at.

2. Sell some runs which I don’t want (Bruce Jones’ Hulk run is top of this list). I’m not a fan of eBay. I’d rather sell to friends (if they want them).

3. Get rid of all of the odd issues I’ve accumulated over time that I really don’t want by giving them to Ian (a comic retailer friend) in exchange for store credit.

I’m not sure if psychologically I can give away or sell my comics. All the comics I have bought are a small part of me in some way – even JOHN CARTER, WARLORD OF MARS #25.

In future posts I'll be describing how this situation has arisen, but in the meantime I need help from the blogosphere. How can I reduce the number of comics I own without needing psychotherapy or losing too much money?

Loeb-otomy

2005-10-03T21:52:00.000+01:00

I’m sure I’m not the only one glad to see that Jeph Loeb has signed an exclusive with Marvel.

In August 2003 I was sat on Brighton Beach with a copy of each of the two covers to Batman/Superman #1. Yes, I know that’s not the proper name of the title, but that’s a story for another time. I was going out with a girl who had no appreciation for comics at all- after we broke up she binned my friend’s copy of Watchmen I had given her (well, I wasn’t going to give her mine, was I?). While she lay sunbathing I read the issue. Don’t worry, it was a pebble beach.

I was so excited. I’d loved Ed McGuiness’ art since seeing it on the covers of all those Deadpool comics which I bought when they came out and am planning to read this Christmas. And as for Loeb – I didn’t think much of Long Halloween the first time I read it, but I absolutely loved Dark Victory – the pinnacle of Tim Sale’s career. Jim Lee, a hero of the Blog Cave and recipient of several chants in his honour, made me overlook the story of Hush.

I remember excitedly exclaiming on the way to the beach that I’d never thought I’d see a Batman/Superman title in my lifetime, and how I loved team-up books. She didn’t care, and I didn’t care that she didn’t care. It was one of our happiest days together.

Reading other blogs, I get the impression that I’m not a discerning as the average comic book reader, because I quite enjoyed Loeb’s run. At least, I convinced myself that I did – overlooking each plot inconsistency and blatant attempt to crowbar anything Silver Age into the title.

However, having just read B/S #22 – it is time to speak out. Loeb does not know how to write serialised fiction that makes sense when read with more than a quarter of one’s brain in gear. Period. He has had the amazing fortune of working with some of the best artists in the industry, who have carried him through all those inner monologues that make the Victorian novelists look like Rob Schneider.

Joe Quesada, please please give Jeph Captain America to write – the only title I can one hundred percent guarantee I will never ever read if it was the last comic book on Earth.

Many thanks.

To the Radio Studio!

2005-10-03T20:55:00.000+01:00

It’s been a while since something new has appeared in the hallowed enclaves of The Blog Cave.

One reason for this is that I end up writing far too much with no definite end - the ideas flow so freely once the fingers hit the keyboard - and I easily end up off-topic.

Simple is often best, as I learnt from JLU recently. So, let's cut to the quick:

SUPERHERO RADIO IS FUCKING BRILLIANT

‘Nuff said (There’s irony in that sign off, btw!)

Pure Class...ic

2005-09-26T15:55:00.000+01:00

You're Classic Batman. You're the old school,
iconic Batman that everyone knows. Your
sidekick is Dick Grayson, the original Robin,
and you also team up with Batgirl alot. You're
the World's Greatest Detective, and also one of
the best fighters on the planet. You're against
guns and lethal force. Right now, you're pretty
much in the prime of your career, before you
become haunted by Dead Sidekicks and loved
ones.

What kind of Batman are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm.... I'm not sure how I feel about that!

In the picture is Batman rubbing one out? No wonder he hides in the shadows and has a cape to hide himself, from cops and decent people...

Happy birthday, Bat-Mac!

2005-09-23T00:14:00.000+01:00

Yay! A very Happy Birthday to Bat-Mac!

Incidentally, Mac, it seems you share a birthday with comicbook-writing legend, Peter David!

As a birthday treat, have this lovely comic advert featuring Marvel's greatest hero, Meatloaf:

I am Samu, the Reader. It is my task to note all comics of significance. Only to note them...and never interfere.

2005-09-20T16:40:00.000+01:00

In response to an e-mail question, here's some disjointed and rambling thoughts on the comics currently in my pull-list. If you can't rant on a blog, where can you rant?
If anyone reads this and disagrees, or even agrees, with anything here then please feel free to argue with me on the comments page. :)

--

Peter David's Hulk run was woefully short - he works best when he's got time for some longterm character developments. As I said to Mac the other day, the Hulk House of M arc was good, but would've been so much better if it had been set in the proper Marvel universe -- as it stands you know they'll be no ramifications or development from the story at all, so in the long run it just feels a bit pointless.
Still, I'm looking forward to PAD's 2 new books starting soon - X-Factor and Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man. I've always thought that PAD really gets Spidey as a character so it's great to have as a regular Spidey writer. Shame he's having to start with a crossover though. I've just read the last arc in Marvel Knights Spider-man and I don't rate Reggie Hudlin's writing at all. A couple of nice ideas with the Absorbing Man, but I thought his pacing and dialogue and the ending with Aunt May were all terrible. I've dropped the title from my standing order, but am now probably going to buy the next 3 issues because of the crosover! Bah!
It's nice to have X-Factor on my pull-list -- I'm not getting many X-books anymore and, well, I miss them! That seems particularly sad to me as it was the X-Men that got me buying the monthly comics. Of the 3 core books I've only been getting Astonishing X-Men (enjoyed the last issue, although the publishing delays were annoying. Hopefully that'll be sorted out after the current hiatus). There was a time, not so long ago, that I was buying Uncanny X-Men and adjectiveless X-Men just out of loyalty, to keep an unbroken run of issues, but I've since realised that that's pretty stupid. As much as I love the characters and miss reading about them, I just wasn't enjoying the writing of Chris Claremont or Peter Milligan on those titles so I had to drop them. As I was saying to Bat-Mac recently, when we were discussing the new All-Star Batman & Robin, I don't have the money to be buying books that I'm not really enjoying. And it's important to be selective and only spend my monthly money on books that are worthy of my support -- surely Marvel aren't going to get rid of a bad creative team if the books are still selling, even if people are only buying because of a twisted loyalty to the title or characters. I wish more regular readers thought like that -- vote with your feet, people! Besides, there's no need to spend my meagre monthly comics allowance on books I know I'll be able to pick up at a fraction of the price later from the back-issues boxes at a fair.
The only other X-related book I'm getting is Cable & Deadpool, and I keep changing my mind as to whether that's good enough to keep in my monthly order or not. Fabian Nicieza occasionally uses too much incomprehensible technobabble and deus ex machina, but I did love the last issue which was a low-action, pure-characterisation single issue story, so I'm with it for a bit longer at least. Same thing with (New) Thunderbolts -- just when I'm lmost getting bored by a confusing plots or reliance on technobabble, Fabian reels me in with an interesting plot-twist (the re-appearance of Baron Zemo in the last issue).

I'm still enjoying New Avengers - fantastic art in the current Sentry story, much better than David Finch on the first arc. Still, it seems a bit odd that we're 9 issues in yet the New Avengers haven't really done anything! S.H.I.E.L.D. did everything in the 1st arc, and now Emma Frost and the Fan Four are saving the day in the current story! And the team isn't even complete yet! It's typical Bendis plotting pace I suppose. He's getting away with it so far in this title, but generally speaking I find he sucks at writing superhero action scenes. At least the NA are acting like a team and saving the day together in the current Amazing Spider-man issues. This is the best Amazing story arc from Strazyncski since his original Morlun one, although his writing is still far from perfect (mainly because I'm still feeling the sour taste left by his Sins Past story).
I'm having the same pacing problem with House of M -- if it really is going to "change the Marvel universe forever" it should be feeling more epic than it has so far. Too many talking heads and splash pages (like the 2-page spread of Wolverine falling from the helicarrier) and not enough action or plot development. And why exactly are Mystique and Toad apparently fighting alongside the good guys in the last issue? I thought they were well up for a bit of mutant supremacy?
Anyway, at least Bendis is still doing good things on Daredevil. And Brubaker taking over shouldn't be half bad at all.

Young Avengers and Runaways are still going strong. Probably my two favourite Marvel titles at the moment.

I'm looking forward to the new She-Hulk run too -- I've just added it to my standing order in anticipation. I didn't get the last run, but Dan Stott was amazing on the recent GLA miniseries so I'm interested to read more of his work.

Aside from the Marvel titles I'm getting, the 3 Vertigo books on my pull-list are still doing great stuff. Fables is excellent - loved the reveal of The Adversary. Y: The Last Man is as good as ever. And I'm still loving 100 Bullets, although the last issue (#64) seemed a little empty. Can't say I'm worried about that though -- experience tells me that I'll probably re-read later on, after another arc or two, and love it. As far as I'm concerned, nothing beats 100 Bullets for re-readability.

And that's the end of that chapter.
No doubt I'll ramble on again soon.

XS-ive

2005-09-16T14:44:00.000+01:00

You're Jenni Ognats, XS!

Which Legionnaire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Spot on! I've always thought that beneath this hairy male exterior is a super-fast black teenage girl waiting to burst out and save the universe.

WTF

2005-09-15T17:04:00.000+01:00

A few weeks back I read 1602.

I’m not sure if I should admit this in public, but I’ve not really read a lot of Gaiman stuff. And by “a lot” I mean “any”. My mate King Asok is always on at me to read Sandman. I’ve not read Good Omens, Gaiman’s novel with Terry Pratchet. Until recently, when I went to the world premiere of Gaiman and Dave “Arkham Asylum” MacKean’s Mirrormask at the Edinburgh Film Festival, my only exposure to Gaiman was when BBC2 broadcast Neverwhere, which I watched when I was 12 and far too young to understand what I was going on.

…

This article was going to be a critique-of-sort of 1602. But now it isn’t. Because in researching a link to information about the Neverwhere TV show for this post after I’d completed writing the above paragraph, I found out that it was first broadcast on 12th September 1996 - just before I turned 18 and went off to university.

My memory is extremely good. Not quite eidetic, like Batman’s, but well above average. My life is interesting and I have to cope with enough retconning in the DCU without needing to implant false memories into my head. I distinctly remember being alone in the house, curled up like I used to when I was a kid and watching the first episode and thinking “WTF?”.

On reflection, I think my brain has gone through the following process:

- I didn’t understand Neverwhere when I watched it
- I remember reacting to it the way I used to as a kid when reading/viewing something I felt I was - meant to understand but couldn’t.
- Ergo I must have been a kid.

I’m now concerned. How many more of my precious memories are false. Did I really read Dark Knight Returns in one sitting? Did I cry at the end of the Killing Joke? Am I really such a big Annex fan?

I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this, so I’ll surmise briefly and stop before this becomes a Bone-like epic:

It is said that we humans are trying to find meaning in our life. I say that the pace of modern life doesn’t allow you to realise that you’re undergoing an important experience at the time you’re having it. We go back and make our lives have meaning, rather like comic book writers go rework past stories so they fit into the current world view, a process called retconning.

Batman – The Dark Knight Returns has had a profound impact on my life. Yet I couldn’t not have been aware of this when I put the book down and went straight to sleep. My brain has imbued the memory of the first reading with the resonance of subsequent readings and experiences. That is the beauty and prerogative of the mind, and allows us, with no hint of self-awareness or self-parody, to utter the immortal line “I loved you from moment we met.”

Back once again...

2005-09-14T16:51:00.000+01:00

...with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour...

Well, exam went OK. I hope to God it’s my last one. Especially as I don’t seem to have the energy for it anymore. I’m 26, and my mind is a mushy pulp already. Tremendous.

Three hours is far too long to have to think hard about something you have no interest in whatsoever. I got half-way through the paper and then felt my mind start to wander. It took the mental powers of Maxwell Lord (hopefully his demise is no omen for my performance – maybe I should have used a different metaphor!) to get my mind on track. I had to keep repeating Batman’s response when Dr. Destiny (in JL animated) points out that Batman has no super-powers. “Oh, I have one thing” he replies, “I never give up.”

That used to be my mantra back in the day. In the previous study session I would start off each day by writing it out five times. But ironically, the Bat proves as much an inspiration as a distraction as I tend to spend half the day doodling Bat-symbols of various kinds. This then leads to a general free-for-all centring around the JLA’s insignias. Stupid Martian Manhunter – why have you no logo? Still, it means I don’t have to dispose of the paper in the “confidential waste” bin, like I do when I start doodling other things that cross my mind when you’re alone with nothing else to think about…

Thanks to Spider-Sam for running the site so brilliantly in my absence, and thanks to Rheiny and Dan for reading and commenting. We’ve had a lot of spam comments recently, some of which have been deleted, and some which have been kept because I think they are brilliant and so completely random- I can’t wait for one about wang enhancement! Also, because it makes it look like we’re loved. As the disgusting tramp woman says in the Simpsons when asked if she wants to make out with a guy who she has just loudly abused as being a Devil Dog, “Nobody wants to be alone.”

The best there is at what he does, and what he does is eat cheese

2005-09-08T09:29:00.000+01:00

Scientists have created a mouse with a healing factor!

Now if only they could make one that smokes cigars and says "bub."

Coming next: shape-changing skin grafts?

The real Spider-man comic strip?

2005-09-05T18:23:00.000+01:00

Just another quick post from me to show you this:

As ever, click on the image to enlarge it.

More here.

*snigger*

Answers to a hypothetical question: part 5

2005-09-03T10:10:00.000+01:00

Some time ago, Scipio, at The Absorbascon, asked some hypothetical questions about you would do if you owned your local comic book store. Inspired by this, I've answered them. The answers are being posted over the course of this week.
-----------------------------------

What would you want on its website?

I think Mile High Comics is the template for all online retailers. Period. It’s a shame that living in the UK no one can compete with them on price and service even though I am an international customer for them and I only need spend $100 for free shipping.

If you have a local store then the website will probably act more as a promotional tool than a major source of business. Just make it as navigable and user friendly as possible.

You are selling product that many other stores have and so differentiation is the key. Maybe take photos of your customers and offer a $10 voucher if you are deemed “photo of the week”? That may sound lame, but I’m trying to think “outside the box”! Anything to engender a sense of community.

Answers to a hypothetical question: part 4

2005-09-02T09:39:00.000+01:00

Movie-related promotion is important. I would have some kind of relationship with the local cinema - possibly a free child’s ticket to a film if a certain amount is spent at your store. I would have stock of graphic novels in the cinema for people to purchase as they go in and out. Stores I know that have done this have achieved success.

You could incentives the customers to bring in new business with an “Introduce a Friend” scheme.

Do card/comic promotions. When parents come into the store, ensure they are aware of the range of Johnny Dc/Marvel Adventures/Archie comics available. We’re not talking hard-sell here; we’re talking provision of information which the publishers are pathetic at putting in the right hands.

Cross-promotion is important. For example, if people come in to buy the Smallville Series 4 DVD Box Set, offer them the Graphic Novel for half-price.

Stock comics that will appeal to different audiences. For example, stock “Fade from Blue” by Second-to-some studios for the ladies.

Stock affordable items – important for the "child present" market too. Even I can’t afford/don’t want to buy DC Direct’s Batman Hush Statue at $200. However, I can afford my Batman/Superman money box which cost me $15, and, more importantly so can kids.

In terms of the layout of the store try your best not to make it “intimidating”. For example, do not put expensive comics on the wall in places that may make people think a $50 comic is representative of the prices of a regular issue of Batman. Make it clear that regular comics are cheap and represent good value for money in terms of re-read value. I usually tell people who doubt that comics are good value that I read every comic three times – once as it comes out, once again just before I read the final episode of a multi-issue storyline, and then again a while later if it was really good.

When new customers come in asking for recommendations, try hard to understand exactly what they are after. I am a huge DC fan, but I would not recommend many current ongoing DC titles to new readers into the store, because they are relatively impenetrable with all the Crisis stuff going on. For your new Batman fans make sure you have adequate supply of Batman: Year One, Dark Knight Returns, Killing Joke, Contagion, but also try and hook them on any of the current miniseries that are not related to current continuity. However, the skilful store owner would drop enough hints that what is going on in the DCU is so exciting that you have to get a piece of it. Point out that if anything is confusing then you will be there to explain exactly what is going on.

Answers to a hypothetical question: part 3

2005-09-01T09:49:00.000+01:00

Some time ago, Scipio, at The Absorbascon, asked some hypothetical questions about you would do if you owned your local comic book store. Inspired by this, I've answered them. The answers will be posted over the next few days.
-----------------------------------

How would you promote it?

Try and make the local press your friend. In the build up to opening your store make them aware of it. They are often desperate to fill their pages so you can help them and they in turn will help you. Whenever a superhero film is released make sure you have a spot in the paper, possibly a review of it (sadly you will not be able to write what you really think, and everything will get two thumbs up, but that’s business!)

Get involved in the local community in some way – which will also give you free publicity. If I owned a comics shop in Exeter (my home town) I would give a discount to those who supported Exeter City FC via the Supporter’s Trust which now runs the club. I would sponsor some matches too.

Make ‘Free Comic Book Day’ a local event – maybe by teaming up with other local retailers. FCBD is a great idea but all it ends up meaning is that a nerd like me gets a free comic that week.

On a more parochial level, why don’t you look at how other shops promote themselves? They have clear signs and well known brand images identify what they sell. Why not put the Bat, Super and Spider-symbols outside the shop? People will be able to easily identify it, as opposed to most comic shops which have some “pun-based” name which says nothing about what it sells.

Answers to a hypothetical question: part 2

2005-08-31T11:22:00.000+01:00

Some time ago, Scipio, at The Absorbascon, asked some hypothetical questions about you would do if you owned your local comic book store. Inspired by this, I've answered them. The answers will be posted over the next few days.
-----------------------------------

What would you do for the employees and what would you have the employees do for you?

At first I would have very few employees as they are a drain on initial revenues. You should only employ people once you are confident you can afford their salary for a year with getting into debt. Obviously I would try and pay competitive salaries (whatever that may be for comic book guys). I would give a discount on books in the store. I would also have a commission system – if they generate customers for the store I would pay a bonus of some kind (definitely no “Employee of the Month” stuff though). Definitely make them feel that they would benefit from the stores’ success.

You should also be thinking “What can my employees do for me?”

For example, the sort of people who would want to work in comic book store will have access to the sort of people who would want to buy comics – a ready source of business. Incentivise them to introduce their friends.

Comic fans are some of the most readily upsold people in the business, because they love the medium and wish that they could spend more on their hobby. I can only use myself and my friends as an example. You go to the till with 5 comics for that week and end up leaving the store with ten. All it takes is someone at the till to say “Did you know XXXX came out this week – it’s really good”. If you get it right once, people will trust your recommendations. Make sure your employees are knowledgeable.

Similarly, staff need to be incredibly courteous and friendly. If you really want to make your comics venture a success then you have to treat it seriously. I once visited the Harpoon Brewery in Boston and ended up at a talk from the MD originally intended for a group of visiting high school kids. He said something which has stuck in my head since – “If a consumer has a bad pint of your beer they will not come back for 2 years. And they will tell on average 12 friends”. That’s 24 man-years of revenue you’ve lost from one bad pint.

I was in Manchester recently and hunted down the Forbidden Planet there. The new comics were very cheap relative to normal UK prices. However, when I tried to engage in conversation with the till guy he was not very forthcoming and more importantly he made me feel unwelcome. If I was living in Manchester the £100/$180 I spend on comics every month would be taken elsewhere, even if it was more expensive.

I do not know nearly as many people as I would like who are into comics. The internet has been great in getting into touch with a community of like-minded people. If for some reason you don’t believe me go to your store and say something like “OMAC is crap”- people will stop and join in. They will even be late for appointments to get their point across! For some people, the staff at the shop can be people’s only contact with someone who loves comics – make sure they do not feel self-conscious and make them feel welcome. I guarantee that this will translate into increased sales more efficiently and easily than any advertising you could do.

Answers to a hypothetical question: part 1

2005-08-30T20:43:00.000+01:00

-----------------------------------

What would you change?

I go to several comic shops, predominantly in London. I have visited 70+ shops the country and the world (Ireland, USA, France, Spain, Italy, Belgium amongst others), as well as attending 12 comic fairs a year. Consequently I will have to speak generically and try and take the best from each.

If you want to have a successful comics shop, and have competition in the area, then you have to compete on price. I get my comics from Orbital on Charing Cross Road when I am in London because if you subscribe to over 20 comics a month (including miniseries) then your dollar rate drops from 65p to 60p. So, you get this trend where people who would normally subscribe to 15 titles a month subscribe to 20 because they are chasing a discount and feel that they can try out new titles. Looking at current buying trends, most DC fans will already be buying 5 comics a month regardless (4 Countdown miniseries + Return of Donna Troy). It really is easy for people to upsell themselves from 11 to 20 comics – I’ve seen it with my own eyes!

A successful store covers all of the bases. This is why the Forbidden Planet Superstore on Shaftsbury Avenue still has comic business even though Orbital round the corner is cheaper – because people can go there and pick up books, DVDs, Manga, T-shirts, Toys and Comics in one visit.

The layout of most comic book stores needs work. I appreciate they may not be able to afford more space, but I feel they would benefit from a less cluttered approach. Why should the layout of a comic book store be any different to the layout of a “regular” book store? Spacious and clearly labelled areas are important. This will not be for the benefit of existing customers but will help generate new business.

You need a substantial back issue collection, or more importantly you need to make regular customers believe you are the go-to man for obtaining back issues if you do not have them in stock. If you do this you will build up priceless relationships with key clients which will only grow. Remember that salary inflation tends to beat price inflation so a small customer now will potentially be a big customer in future. Have periodic sales to generate business.

Your graphic novel stock must be better than the local bookstore, and the bookshop should know this and recommend that customers head there if they want something – book shops in England recommend each other if one is out of stock of something. People may well may make bookstores their first stop as they are nicer, friendlier places to visit but once they set foot in your shop you should have captured their business forever, as you will be more knowledgeable.

Although there is derision about having them, cards bring in the kids and so they can be the lifeblood of your store. A good retailer friend of mine survives by them.

If you are a local store your aim should be to be the first choice location for gifts for birthday’s and Christmas. Kids love superheroes – stock things that parents will buy and that they can afford. Then make sure that people know this through the local media/other cost-effective publicity.

I’m not sure how people will react to this suggestion, as at first it may smack of some kind of sexism but I think it has merit. Get girls to work in your store. It is one of the realities of life that sex sells, and the sort of people who frequent comic books stores will enjoy the female contact. Scratch that, every heterosexual male I know likes attractive women! Timid females making their first foray into the world of comics will also appreciate a girl working in the store too. Obviously employ her on merit though – she has to know something about comics! I went into Jim Hanley’s Universe when I was in New York last year and there were two attractive girls working in there. It just made for a different environment, and when you are selling identical product positive differentiation is key.

Who drew all the Batmen?

2005-08-26T23:54:00.000+01:00

Some chants heard following Mr. Jim Lee around the streets of Bristol at the 2003 UK Comics Expo:

"If you all love Jim Lee
All love Jim Lee
All love Jim Lee clap your hands"

"Jimmy Lee, Jimmy Lee,
Jimmy Jimmy Lee
When he’s got a pen
He draws Batmen
Jimmy Jimmy Lee"

"Jim Lee is our Leader
Jim Lee is our Leader
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"

And, best of all, to the tune of Que Sera Sera:

"Jimmy Lee, Jim Lee
Best artist you’ll ever see
Works exclusively for DC
Jimmy Lee, Jim Lee"

If you all love Jim Lee clap your hands

2005-08-25T11:10:00.000+01:00

Here’s the aforementioned Batman head-sketch that Jim Lee did for me at the UK Comic Expo in 2003:

Watching him draw is an absolute joy. He knocked this out (steady!) in about two minutes. Some circles are laid down on the paper, and then from out of nowhere Batman appears! Remember that this was midway through his ‘Hush’ run, so he must have already drawn several hundred Batmen and Catwomen by the time I got this done on Sunday afternoon.

This photo was actually taken by a couple of guys who had been asked by an American who maintains a fan site of Jim’s art (can’t remember which one – possibly Art of Jim Lee) to document some of the sketches.

Mr. Lee is a true professional. Like Mark Buckingham he seems to be very grateful for the success he has had and is willing to go out of his way to show his appreciation to the fans. Thank you Mr. Lee for making this fanboy happy!

I'll "Gotham Central" you!

2005-08-24T10:15:00.000+01:00

I was upset that DC weren’t at this year’s UK Comic Convention.

It meant that I couldn’t threaten Bob Wayne and Bob Schreck with death if they cancelled Gotham Central, as I did in 2003 and 2004 respectively.

I missed the DC presence this year. It’s the only thing there that makes you feel like the publishers care about their British audience. We would have the preview of that year’s DCU output in what would have been the weekend’s most attended panel.

Bat-Mac vs. Mr. T

2005-08-23T10:42:00.000+01:00

A story from Bristol's Comic Expo 2005 (the UK’s smaller, friendlier, not taken-over-by-the-Hollywood-er version of San Diego)

This year, AP Comics released a new Mr. T comic, written by Chris Bunting, drawn by Neil Edwards, and with the man himself as Creative Consultant. If you’re not reading it, do so!

I purchased the limited Expo edition of Issue #1 of this fabulous tome early in the day for fear of it selling out, went off to try and assemble an entire run of Kyle Rayner comics and then returned to get it signed by the creative team (sadly, Mr. T couldn’t be with them that day).

I noticed that Neil Edwards was sketching for the fans. All of them were of Mr. T, but his detailed, meticulous style meant that he was taking a while, and I had to disappear to attend a panel with Brian Bolland, Alan Grant and Mike Smith. I apologised for having to leave the queue but said I would be back later to hassle him.

A slight aside now which may explain how we reached the end result. Spider-Sam and I have a running joke which developed during UKCAC 2003, with Guest-of-Honour Jim Lee in attendance. It actually began when we observed that the autograph queue for Mr. Lee on Saturday morning was not moving. I suspected at first this was due to people taking entire runs of X-Men for him to sign, and indeed there were such people taking the piss. However, the reason at the time was that he was sketching. It may seem strange to anyone reading this, and seems strange to me writing it, but at the time I couldn’t believe that an artist would produce a free sketch for anyone who asked for it. By the end of the convention, and after sketching solidly for two days Jim was knocking out headshots of Batman in under 2 minutes, but at the start he was spending 30 minutes on a sketch and some of the pieces he produced were unbelievable.

We started to wonder how far this could be pushed. What if you asked for a sketch of yourself? Could you ask for a sketch of yourself as Batman. Could you ask for an entire comic with you in every panel? This reductio ad absurdum caught on and has become les mots justs for describing the sometimes ridiculous requests that fans put to these poor guys on their days off!

Anyway, on the way to the talk we were banding ideas around about that sketch we could ask for, purely for Neil’s benefit as he was probably bored of doing head and shoulder shots of Mr. T. Suggestions included asking for a sketch of the A-Team with me as Hannibal, Spider-Sam as Murdoch and Naz as BA, a sketch of me as Mr. T, a full-body shot of Mr. T. as Batman, or an four-part miniseries entitled JLA/Avengers/A-Team. However we soon came up what we thought was the ultimate request – me beating Mr. T in an arm-wrestling competition. We giggled away at the thought of asking for this, but we knew deep down it wasn’t going to happen.

We returned to the main hall after the talk and went straight to the AP Comics arena where Neil Edwards recognised me and asked what I would like drawn.

I said: “Well, I’m sorry to ask as you’ve probably done him to death today, but I’d like a sketch of Mr. T. please…

(slight embarrassed pause for me to pluck up courage)

“…or, as my mate suggested, me beating Mr. T. in an arm-wrestling competition. Chortle, chortle”

From the way he reacted I thought that Neil also appreciated that this was intended in jest, so I stood there trying to chat up the attractive girl next to me while he put pencil to paper.

I then started to notice him looking up periodically. At first I thought that this was to make sure I was paying attention to him, or maybe that he also was eying up this honey, but it soon became apparent that he was actually eyeing ME up! My heart skipped a beat as I realised what was going on, and sure enough he soon delivered to me the greatest work of art in the history of everything. It even showed me looking cool and Mr. T (replete with biceps five times the size of mine) perspiring!

I ran to find Spider-Sam and Naz, who couldn’t believe their eyes, but at the same time weren’t at all surprised that I had managed to blag this!

So that’s the story of why I now have an A3 sketch of me beating Mr. T in an arm-wrestle by Neil Edwards, artist of the Mr. T. comic. I’d like to thank Naz for planting the initial seed for the idea, Spider-Sam for egging me on, and the flower girl by Temple Meads Station for providing me with some brown paper and sellotape to protect this priceless masterpiece.

One day I will prove to all you cynics out there that this actually exists with some photographic evidence, but it is currently in a hermetically sealed vault hundreds of miles away. Excuses, excuses, I know, but at least that gives you all a reason to keep reading!

Who says comics aren't educational?

2005-08-20T08:47:00.000+01:00

The world's greatest heroes take on their greatest enemy yet - more dangerous than Doctor Doom, more insidious than the Green Goblin - it's Childhood Obesity!

POW! Take that, Overweight Fan-boy!
Now why don't you get adverts like that in comicbooks anymore? Anyone else remember Spider-man and Power Pack saying no to sexual abuse?

I think we've all learnt a little something from that.
Brilliant. But what have we got in this months comics? It's all just adverts for video games and trading cards. Where's Captain America telling me not to do drugs?
C'mon Doctor Strange, is binge drinking bad or not? How else am I meant to know?

I was unaware! UNAWARE!

So long, suckers!

2005-08-19T10:17:00.000+01:00

At the end of today I go on Study Leave for two and a half weeks. Once upon a time this meant “study leave” i.e. come back a fortnight later having used the time productively and read the post-Crisis DCU. Unfortunately, now I have to get my arse into gear. I have one exam to go to obtain my professional qualification and the associated pay, promotion and, more importantly, extra comic-buying power that that brings. Finally I can get that first appearance of Annex!

In the meanwhile I leave you in the capable hands of Spider-Sam, who will be skilfully entertaining you all (or, most probably, himself – he likes to entertain himself) with his unique brand of outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Failing that, I have anticipated my departure and got ahead on my writing (unlike Kevin Smith), so these will be unveiled as Spider-Sam sees fit.

I’m going to leave on this upbeat note:

I have a phrase.

When I’m walking around London, especially when I have guests with whom I am doing the tourist thang, I will sometimes look up at the incredible buildings, wander through the beautiful parks and gardens or just spot a tramp urinating in public and loudly exclaim “I f***ing love London.”

In similar vein there are times when I just stand and stare at my copious long boxes of bagged and board gems, or I have just finished a brilliant issue of some title which rewards my years of temporal, emotional and financial investment in the medium; maybe I’m walking back from a comic shop having picked up this week’s offerings, or perhaps someone has just placed a comment on my blog and I feel privileged to be part of a great international community of like-minded individuals. When things like that happen I want to stand atop the tallest building and proudly exclaim:

I f**king love comics

Ultimate Super-Villains

2005-08-18T15:14:00.000+01:00

DAMN YOU, La P’tit Folie! Your gorgeous French cuisine meant I missed the start of Ultimate Super-Villains on Sky One.

This was the sort of program that describes Bullseye as “the hired hitman enemy of sightless superhero Daredevil” and informs us that “Syndrome sets out to slay all the caped competition”. There’s some much alliteration here that Stan Lee must have been one of the scriptwriters.

However, it was surprisingly accurate and fused a large amount of comic source material with the more accessible Film and TV personae of the characters. Their treatment of Lex Luthor is a good example of this. They described his reinvention in the comics as a “machiavellian industrialist, white-collar criminal and even President of the United States”. As comic book source material they used a number of Golden Age, Silver Age and more recent comics, including to my surprise the cover of “Lex Luthor: The Unnauthorised Biography”. Also of note was use of the phrase “DC Universe”, which brought joy to my heart.

As you’ll see from the list below they have juxtaposed comic and non-comic villains, which I enjoyed seeing. I have often thought that if people realised the fiction they love (Star Wars, The Matrix, The Bible etc) contained elements identical or not far removed from the comic book world they would show greater love towards the medium. Sadly the intended audience of this program will not be the sort who will make this link, but we can still hope.

An eclectic mix of celebrities and comic insiders added their sound-bites to this thoroughly entertaining and well-produced program. They included (in no particular order) Stan Lee, Lou Ferringo, Avi Arad, Ian McKellan, Todd Mcfarlane, Ben Affleck, Mark Hamill, Dan Gould, Vivica A. Fox, Roger Englund, Hal Sparks, James Cameron, Linda Hamilton, David Hayden, Suzan Colon, Cesar Romero, James Earl Jones, Michael Uslan and Joe Quesada (I did mean soundbites!).

What confused me was that Joe Quesada appeared at the end of the show talking for 10 seconds about Darth Vader, yet had no thoughts (or, more probably, none were broadcast! No scratch that, I meant no thoughts!) on any of the Marvel villains. Similarly Michael Uslan (Executive Producer of Batman Begins) was an expert on Darth Vader but not the Riddler, Penguin or Joker.

Here, for your perusal and discussion, is the list of the top 18 Ultimate Super-Villains:

18. The Clown (Spawn)
17. Bullseye (Daredevil)
16. Syndrome (The Incredibles)
15. The Mummy (err… The Mummy)
14. Magneto (X-Men)
13. The Bond Villains (James Bond)
12. Dr. Evil (Austen Powers)
11. Chucky (Child’s Play)
10. Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man)
9. Doctor Doom (Fantastic Four)
8. Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)
7. Batman Villains (Riddler and Penguin)
6. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
5. Green Goblin (Spider-Man)
4. Lex Luthor (Superman)
3. The Terminator
2. The Joker (Batman)
1. Darth Vader (Star Wars)

Any disagreements?

I feel like Ultimate Super-Villains tonight

2005-08-17T15:37:00.000+01:00

For those of you reading in the UK I thought I’d post a reminder that tonight on Sky One is the first of three specials of looking at the Ultimate Super-heroes, villains and vixens. Here’s the spiel from Sky’s website:

ULTIMATE SUPER-VILLAINS: WEDNESDAY 17th AUG, 20:00

Countdown of the 20 most fearsome and notorious bad guys from the past 60 years of screen productions, including contributions from the antiheroes' creators

I find these programs quite entertaining – it is quite obvious we are in an age where the public find our world fascinating, yet don’t want to admit it to themselves. They have to be weened into it though movies and celebrity endorsement. I’m looking forward to seeing how many factual inaccuracies will lead me to shout at the TV - I've already spotted one in the blurb above!

Homer: Stop the madness! Start the movie! Lisa: Maybe we should try to calm Dad down. Bart: I prefer to egg him on.Hey Dad,has the movie started yet?

2005-08-16T16:18:00.001+01:00

I’m being encouraged by Scipio to purchase the comics shop.

This is how these things happen. It’s how I bought my decks, which currently lie unused hundreds of miles away in a friend’s bedroom. I suggest an idea to myself, get egged into it by others, then talk about it so much I feel I have to carry it through, because I now have an oral contract with everyone who I discussed it with.

There is a difference though: Cost of decks £360. Cost of comic shop £50,000. Cost of future revenue from resigning from very well-paid current job – Priceless.

It’s quite ironic because, if I won the EuroMillions lottery, or found a few million pounds in the street that had fallen out of the Queen’s pocket, or had bet £100,000 on Exeter City to beat Doncaster Rovers 2-1 in the second round of last season’s FA Cup at 11-1 odds, then I would buy this shop immediately as it is exactly the sort of thing I have said I would love to do with my time – read, talk, buy and sell comics all day.

The more I think about it, the more I want to throw caution to the wind and just do it.

Err…maybe when the student loan is paid off!

Free Comments Day IV – Rann-Thanagar Baseball Match

2005-08-15T11:38:00.000+01:00

Not qualified to talk about Baseball in any way (Anyone for Cricket?), this post has less merit than most. It exists simply to:

Document for my own amusement my suggestion that the Rann-Thanagar War be decided by a baseball game, in the style of The Greatest Story Ever Told
Direct Spider-Sam’s (and anyone else's (please comment and let us know you have visited!)) attention to said series of posts over at The Comic Treadmill and demand that they read them.
Remind everyone that The Blog Cave is a loyal supporter of Thanagar (I'm upset the blogosphere has gone quiet on this front recently). As Marie Antoinette once said, “Let them eat Mace”.

Fist of Fun

2005-08-15T10:27:00.000+01:00

Last night I went to see Richard Herring in his new Edinburgh Festival Show "Someone likes Yoghurt".

I was pleasantly surprised by the following sentence:

"Jesus was great. He had a lot of cool superpowers. We could do the Graphic Novel - then there would be the spin-off movie"

Brilliant! If however you think that's sacrilegious, do not, I repeat DO NOT, go and see Stewart Lee!

Free Comments Day III - Green Spanner

2005-08-15T10:19:00.000+01:00

As I've said before, I frequently post comments at one of my favourite blogs, The Absorbascon. As you may also be aware, I believe that Kyle Rayner is the one, true Green Lantern.

Recently, Scipio (keeper of the Absorbascon) has been running a series of articles pointing out that Hal Jordan, the Silver Age Green Lantern, is a a sexist pompous, overconfident jackass.

I agree. And I told everyone so here.

Except I embarrassed myself by getting my facts wrong. Stupid Hal.

However, it did result in me writing inadvertently something brilliant which shall become a motto for me as Batman takes a panning in the DCU over the next few months, under the watchful-eye of Bat-hater Geoff Johns:

Batman is merely misunderstood. It's a man's game and if the other "heroes" can't hack the pace, that's their problem.

I'm going to keep telling myself this as Batman's ego continues to take down everything so many have worked so hard to build. As Wonder Woman says in an upcoming issue, "When you have the wisdom of Athena, self-delusion is difficult, but not impossible.”

Comedy of errors

2005-08-12T16:34:00.000+01:00

As to what should be in the sequel to Batman Begins, well surely the next one has got to have The Joker in it? And it's fairly obvious which classic Batman storyline they should use too:

Free Comments Day II - No Rob in Batman II!

2005-08-12T15:59:00.000+01:00

Scipio @ Absorbascon posted this a while back (Monday June 27th 2005):

“The Absorbascon does not shy away from the tough issues of our time. Should Robin be introduced in the next Batman film and, if so, who could play him? Oh, I know what some of you will say. It's stupid and unrealistic to have the Dark Knight saddled with a kid in a red, yellow, and green circus costume. Hmm...okay, I'll grant you that. But it's also stupid and unrealistic to dress up like a bat and fight crime using rope, smoke bombs, and boomerangs, yet Batman pulls that off pretty well, too. Do you want a cinematic Robin? What should he be like?”

Bat-Mac @ The Blog Cave most definitely does not want a cinematic Robin, at least not for a while. The following lines of hyperbole elaborate on why I think this is a ridiculous idea:

Second film: Introduce Robin

Third film: First Robin becomes Nightwing and Batman gets a new Robin

Fourth Film: New Robin dies. Batman gets revenge, but in the process breaks his back

Fifth Film: Batman uses time off to launch satellite to spy on all metahumans (who have been introduced in 50 concurrent films) and recruit an army of Robins to do his bidding, whatever that may be

Sixth film: One Year Later

There should be no Robin in the second film. Why do they have to keep introducing new characters in these films? Is it because people are already bored by characters which they have seen on screen for a maximum of two hours? The way it’s done takes up too much time and detracts from a good plot.

Now that Batman is established, they should explore his development into uber-Batman, which was neglected in this film, probably because it’s difficult to do an interesting montage sequence of someone becoming a great detective. My ultimate Batman film would make the world realise why he is the greatest thing of all time ever. Remember, this is a man who:

1. Fought off the White Martians (JLA: New World Order) leading to Superman dubbing him “The most dangerous man alive”.
2. Can learn a language up to intermediate level in a 6 hour flight (Batman: The Death of Innocents – The Horror of Landmines)
3. Took down the JLA (JLA: Tower of Babel and again (kind of) in The OMAC Project)
4. Has no problems slugging Superman with merely a reinforced glove and some ‘hypersonics’ (Batman#612)

…to name but a few object lessons (as Jesus would say) of his brilliance. In no other media outside comics, apart from of course the animated series, have I seen Batman evince any of these qualities.

However, Scipio seemed to think that the only way to do this was via the following storytelling device. He said, in reply:

“Strong point, Mac! So in essence you're saying the movie should follow the standard pattern for a villain intro story:

1. Hero meets villain for first time and loses, but, educated by the experience, is better prepared for the next time.

2. Hero encounters villain, stops theft, but villain escapes. Inspired, hero formulates a plan for capturing the villains.

3. Hero encounters villain, succeeds in capturing him thanks to newfound experience and plan.”

I want to stay clear of the clichés. It can be done given a serious script and a concerted attempt to move away from a formulaic superhero film (which Batman Begins attempted in its first half but soon degenerated into stereotypes and the obligatory clean wrap-up). The fact the Joker will be the next villain is an excellent opportunity to do that and showcase all of the Bat’s talents, not just his amazing ability to beat the crap out of everyone on the planet (at once).

No idea how to make a blockbuster film out of it though! Maybe we need a less commercial, “Arthouse” (ArtCave?) Batman to give us a glimpse at the cinematic potential of the World’s Greatest Superhero. Or maybe we should just accept that, at the end of the day, these are comic book characters, and as such they were not created to be feasible properties in other media. I look forward to a life of progressively better but still flawed films that I can moan about (but not the good moaning!), right here… in… The Blog Cave!

FF Omnibus Volume One... Get your FF Omnibus Volume One...only ???

2005-08-12T15:38:00.000+01:00

Buy it!

Bid now - there's only one day left!

(This is not my sale by the way - I've already got a copy - but I can personally vouch for the seller)

Comic Shop... Get your Comic Shop...only £50,000...

2005-08-12T10:22:00.000+01:00

Dare I live out the Bat-Mac's dream?

Free Comments Day I - I am the Two-headed Stepson of the Old School

2005-08-11T17:30:00.000+01:00

I recently had my first foray into the world of So So Silverage recently, and read their post entitled “I am the Red-headed Stepchild of the Old School”, (go here then scroll down)

The post talks about how different things are when your oldest memories are all post-Crisis.

Brilliant stuff (as I commented on the blog, in fact) - they've articulated perfectly what I yearn for - a day when millions read comic books and they made "silliness" a fine (and fun) art.

I do disagree with some of the points. While it’s great that there are some remnants of the Silver Age comics have moved on. That was (I conjecture) part of what made it so great – the familiarity yet freshness when compared to the Golden Age. So I’m happy that Barry is dead and Wally is the greatest and that the Corps disappeared for a while, providing adequate showcasing for Kyle as the one, true Green Lantern.

Part of the jealousy is the feeling I get that back in the day people looked forward to new comics coming out, and couldn’t wait for new comics day. This went away as more and more unimportant, contrived tripe was being churned out by the Big 2.

Luckily DC are making Thursdays (in England) fun again. But regardless, I too wish that the Composite Superman was part of my childhood memories... (Sigh).

Free Comments Day

2005-08-11T17:09:00.000+01:00

I’ve recently taken to plundering posts for this site from comments I’ve made on other blogs.

I take the process of commenting very seriously. In fact, given the time I will spend ages crafting perfect psycholinguist masterpieces. However, the brevity of the comment medium, and the need to make it relevant to the post, mean many of the themes you develop do not get the exposure they deserve.

Therefore, I’ve decided to release this creativity into the open. Get ready for “Free Comments Days”!

Night posting, deserves a quiet night

2005-08-11T04:23:00.000+01:00

I'm awake now, thanks to a 45 minute phone call from a friend who is wandering the streets of East London (and miraculously he is still alive) at 4:00am.

I got my copy of FF Omnibus Volume One Alex Ross variant cover today, and it looks fantastic.

So fantastic that I've not opened the cellophane to actually look inside the book! However much DVD comics take off, I hope there will always be a place for magnificent tomes such as this, especially at the magnificent price we got it - a mispricing by Amazon.co.uk and an eagle-eyed spot by me meant we picked it up for £12.99 (RRP £60 approx.)

Apparently this edition is limited to 1500 copies. Wish I'd bought more to give as presents. Note to self: next time, buy at least as many copies as Narinder does!

Just call for Four. But right now, I'm just calling for bed!

Avengers get down, boogie, then Assemble

2005-08-08T18:13:00.000+01:00

I read New Avengers #8 this week. What's more, I very much enjoyed it. Nice art by Steve McNiven - very dynamic, and the characters had more expression on their faces than when David Finch drew them in the first 6 issues. Yes, all very good.... except for this splash page shot featuring the New Avengers, the Fan Four, the Astonishing X-Men team and the Inhumans* that occurs near the end.

Click the picture to enlarge it.

*Oh, and Doctor Strange too. And Namor's there as well. And, of course, there's some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents at the back. Annex is probably just off the page too.

Now, is it just me or are some of these people in very peculiar poses, even for comics? Particularly seeing as how they're meant to be standing casually, offering help to another character.

Why's Wolverine got his claws out?
What's Spider-woman doing with her hair?
What are Spider-man and Beast meant to be standing on?
Why are Cyclops and Emma Frost pouting?
Why on Earth is Kitty Pryde stood like that? It can't be comfortable.

And, most importantly of all, on the far right of the picture, why oh why is Karnak jiving?!

Le geek c'est chic

2005-08-06T16:07:00.000+01:00

As I must have said before to many people on many occasions (or possibly just to the same person many times over), if I had the money to support my eccentricities I would choose to wear just one outfit: A smart suit, a slightly tatty long coat with many pockets, and a comfortable pair of trainers. This outfit I would have in multiple copies so that I could wear it every day and for every situation.
No more worrying about what to wear every day, and I'd gain a degree of infamy with a recognizable style I could make my own.

Imagine my delight and frustration, in equal measure, upon learning that this is now the chosen outfit of Doctor Who.

Dear BBC, now that my image has been usurped, and on the streets of my chosen hometown of Cardiff no less, can I expect a be getting a royalty cheque in the post soon?

And he looks better in it than I would, the time-travelling bastard.

Star War: The Backstroke of the West

2005-08-06T12:29:00.000+01:00

Okay, I know it's unforgivably lazy to just have a blog entry linking to someone elses blog, and I had promised myself I wouldn't post here until I had time to write a proper entry. But this really is too funny not to make sure that Mac and the loyal reader are aware of it:

Mis-translations from a direct english translation of the chinese interpretation of Star Wars III.

"I am more more than any hero's geologic change's strong and big."

I'm reading as fast as I can

2005-08-04T13:00:00.000+01:00

At what point does a reference to another story spoil a reader’s ability to appreciate that tale? I’m not sure if I’m going to come to any conclusions on the matter – I’ll present various viewpoints on the matter and see where that gets us.

I read an interview that Brad Meltzer did with Newsarama which is posted on his site. He had this to say on the matter:

“I can give anyone JSA - it's a great book and very enjoyable, but they're never going to get the enjoyment until they read the fifty years of back history and know all the players involved. It's just impossible.

I gave my wife Dark Knight, and she loved it, but when Miller wrote, "And Hal left for the stars," she didn't know who Hal was. The line was lost on her. It doesn't take anything away from the book, but on some level, that's going to be the limit of her enjoyment.”

I agree with this on some level, and it’s borne out by my own personal experience. I read Identity Crisis with a (now ex-)girlfriend. Adjectives used in the description of the security technology used in Sue and Ralph’s apartment include “Kryptonian” and “Thanagarian”. It did not spoil her enjoyment of the story that she didn’t know what these exactly meant. Also, she was intelligent enough to interpolate between Kryptonian and Thanagarian and conclude that the latter must also refer to an alien planet with advanced technology. Writers should not feel constrained in what they can use fearing that some readers will not understand it – comics is one medium where we should not pander to the lost common denominator. Isn't this depth one of the reasons we were drawn in all those years ago.

Meltzer and I part company as I do not think you need to have read every Batman story ever published to have a complete enjoyment of current issues – merely every Batman story since Crisis!

Backstory has often been cited as a barrier to entry in the comics world. Indeed, this was one of the big drivers for the creation of the Ultimate universe. Ironically of course, 6 years on this universe has its own continuity and cross-overs and mini-series dovetailing into the ongoing which are beginning to reduce the accessibility.

We’re not the only medium to have large volumes of backstory. In England we have programs to pacify the chimps which populate this beautiful land. They are called “soaps”. Some of these soaps have been running for 20 years, yet everyone I know who watches them (I know a lot of chimps!) has not been watching for anywhere near that long. In fact, they aren’t even too bothered about watching every episode.

Ultimately we’re in the hands of the writer, and their skill at story-telling, specifically crafting a story which dovetails in and out of other storylines without making readers feel like they have to read everything. But in a sales-driven world, I can’t blame them for trying to upsell one issue off the back of another – people are always trying to supersize your meal.

I’m a bit tied-up at the moment

2005-08-03T16:45:00.000+01:00

What part of “shared universe” seems to confuse some comic fans?

I’m just read this, and the comments from the nerderazzi, on Newsarama. I would post a reply there, but I’ll just be told that I suck. I can take that, but can’t be bothered with it. That negativity has to be a partial cause of what’s wrong with our industry.

There a number of issues which fans are unhappy with, and I will address these over the course of the next few days. The first to get the righteous treatment is “Why are there so many cross-over tie-ins (which I have to buy)?”

The DC Universe is a shared universe. If big events happen in one corner of it, then those events will and should impact all other relevant parts of the universe. That is the fun of reading comics – the interaction between different characters that all exist in the same world.

Personally, I think DC have treated the current situation incorrectly by even pointing out that the issues tie-in to miniseries. This is not your father’s cross-over. Remember the days of the annual event, where a miniseries would run for a period and regular titles would tie into it under some pretence. Here we are talking about cross-universe events, happening simultaneously which involve every character. The stories are too big to tell in mini-series, and their ramifications need to be explored in the individual titles. If not, they risk degenerating into what the naysayers hate – mindless marketing stunts!

Sometimes the tie-in will affect the whole issues, and sometimes they will be less significant, but writers should not feel like they cannot use an element of another story and feel like they have to concentrate on it. For example, when Superman is attacked by an OMAC, in Superman 217, that was not the focus of the tale. And it served a purpose – I now believe that these OMACs are monitoring and testing the meta-human population. At the end of Teen Titans #23, Doctor Light is whisked away by Deathstroke and Ravager to join the Society – I have seen evidence of the Society in action and now their expansion is more believable.

If fans don’t like what is going on, then they have several choices:

Stop reading continuity comics: Perhaps you like comics, but are disgusted by not being able to read Batman stories that are not sullied by the appearance of Green Arrow or Zatanna. Well read Legends of the Dark Knight, a generally out-of-continuity title that deals predominantly with stories set in the fabled “Year One” period. Or All-Star Batman and Robin. Even Detective Comics is currently running “City of Crime” by David Lapham, which is a stand-alone pre-War Games tale. Then of course there are the hundreds of Graphic Novels of stand alone material (e.g. Batman Black and White) which you may not have read. Plus at any one point there are at least two miniseries or One-Shots coming out that while (sometimes) part of continuity are certainly written as stand-alone stories (e.g. Dark Detective).

In fact, if the DCU is that offensive then read a Vertigo title, or move over to a more manageable universe.

Don’t buy titles which you deem unnecessary: I think DC are doing a great job recapping important story elements that occur in other titles- just look at Prelude to Infinite Crisis. A large amount of the current controversy surrounds the use of the Superman and Wonder Woman titles to tell a four part storyline that bridges OMAC Project Issues 3 and 4. However, the first pages of OMAC 4 are a recap of what has happened.

In this case I don’t deny that it would have been advantageous to read these stories. However, at what point does a reference to another story spoil a reader's ability to appreciate that tale? (Probably a discussion for another time before I start ranting about that too!)

Overall, just buy the titles that you like. If you hate what is being done, then a threshold is soon reached where the annoyance you feel is greater than the happiness you get from buying the comic, in which case see above, or stop buying altogether – the medium isn’t for you.

Here Because Bat-Mac Demanded It

2005-08-02T17:03:00.000+01:00

Well, thank you for your exceedingly warm welcome Mac!

For some reason it made me think of this:

After so much build up I can only hope that as a character I'll prove to have as much longeivity as Annex has.

Spider-Samba

2005-08-02T15:11:00.000+01:00

Only the use of one of my favourite movie poster quotes of all time could honour the arrival of a new resident (spelunker?) to the Blog Cave in the required fashion.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've give you the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Sam.

He's Web-tastic!

Sam's affiliations are mainly to the House of M, and he has also read a couple of good comics in his life! Just kidding. If you want a Marvel vs. DC slagging match, click on any random article on www.newsarama.com and pan down to the comments.

Instead Spider-Sam and Bat-Mac will pull-off the first truly great inter-company cross-over! Welcome to the Samalgamac Universe!

Geoff Johns hates Batman

2005-08-01T11:22:00.000+01:00

It's quite clear to everyone that Geoff Johns hates Batman:

Green Lantern- Rebirth: John Stewart says (to Bats): "Why are you always laying into Hal? Is it because you work on fear, and he was the man without fear". Oh, and Hal smacking Batman in the face!

JSA 67: Doctor Mid-Nite's narration of the events of Identity Crisis: "Mr Terrific is a leader. By the time the funeral was over he'd thought on several ways the murder could have been conducted, even some Batman hadn't thought of"

Flash 214: Green Arrow says "Sue and Ralph just wanted to help people without the need for a Bat-signal"

In Issues 17-19 of Teen Titans the team gets flung 10 years into the future and meet their future selves who have gone a bit "fruity". Tim Drake has now become Batman and uses a gun (the one that killed Thomas and Martha Wayne). Robin absolutely depises his future self, especially the fact he has become Batman. This underpins all of Johns' abuse. There's even a line where Superboy says "Batman sucks. You rock". Whatever that means. At then end Tim is debating whether to talk about recent events and decides to thinking "I stop thinking like Batman... and start thinking like a Titan". I know this is Robin acting completely out of character and the whole thing is Johns' fault.

There are plenty more examples. I'm scared how bad the Dark Knight is going to come out of "Infinite Crisis". Just like the plotlines have been simmering for years, so has Johns' hatred of Batman...

The Evil that Smith does

2005-08-01T09:59:00.000+01:00

I'll believe it when I see it

Where's Daredevil/Bullseye? My wallet wants to know.

Still undecided as to whether I will continue supporting the project (if they ever see the light of day). I suspect not, and pick the issues up cheap at a fair, as Smith doesn't deserve my cash after this level of unprofessionalism.

While we're blame-storming I want to have a go at Marvel. How can you release a mini-series without ensuring that all the parts will be brought out on time. Issues sometimes ship late (Superman/Batman being one example) but by weeks, not years.

I'm going to stop now before this becomes more of an unstructured rant.

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Hmmm... DC...

Pie in the Sky II

2005-07-25T17:02:00.000+01:00

(When I said Monday, I meant "next Monday" I apologise to my loyal reader for this):

Dear Bat-Mac

Thank you for your email regarding Yu-Gi-Oh.

Sky always welcome viewer's comments and feedback and all the points raised in your email have been noted and passed to Sky One for their information.

Thank you for your interest in Sky.

Kind regards

Sky Girl
Viewer Relations

I think this means War. They're Adam Strange!

Pie in the Sky I

2005-07-15T16:14:00.000+01:00

From: Bat-Mac

Sent: 12 July 2005 15:34

To: viewerr@bskyb.com

Subject: 7:30am Monday-Friday slot: Sky One

Dear Sky,
Please can you get rid of Yu-Gi-Oh (or whatever it's called) which currently pollutes the previously sacrosanct 7:30am slot on Sky One from Monday to Friday.
It would be very much appreciated if you could bring back "Batman" - that was fantastic, a great way to wake up before heading to work.
Acceptable alternatives would be the "Superman" animated show, also from Warner Brothers.
I would appreciate a reply, ideally saying that this is going to happen within a week or so! Just kidding, but seriously, let's get some quality in this time period. It is essential for the productivity of the nation.

Thanks
Bat-Mac

Have I changed the face of programming as we know it? Find out on Monday..!

Dead(a)head of FP

2005-07-13T14:21:00.000+01:00

I’ve just been on a manic, sweaty dash through the streets of Edinburgh to Forbidden Planet, to check the shop out as a potential (and, as there is only FP and the previously discussed Deadhead, probable) source of new comics every Thursday.

I eventually found it. I had passed it about 5 minutes previous, but was overwhelmed by the Piemaker next door, so missed it.

A crowded affair that you either regard as atmospheric or off-putting, FP Edinburgh leaves a lot to be desired, especially when compared to others in the chain such as Manchester.

It stocks the usual assortment of Graphic Novels and Magna, plus toys, DVDs, clothes and other paraphernalia .

I eventually located the new comics in the far corner and was disgusted. Firstly, they were stuck in little upright containers within a giant shelving system. People may have thought this was a good idea once, but the reality is that if you have 15 comics compacted into a rigid area, if you want to flick to the one in the back, you are bending, and thus badly injuring the remaining 14. Secondly, the had sold out of OMAC Project 3, and I was not best pleased.

I managed to salvage copies of Teen Titans 23, Batman/Superman 19 (Batman always comes first, you fucking alien!) and a few others, but refused to purchase any copy of Green Lantern 2 they had as the damage was too great for even me (someone not too hung up about “condition”) to bear.

With my lunch-hour ticking down, I cut my losses and went to Deadhead, where their open display area and unbent (heterosexual?!) comics were a joy to behold. Although a few pence per dollar more than FP, I had made my decision by the time I got to the shop – Deadhead was to be my preferred supplier of comics during my time in Edinburgh.

I’ve already made friends with Gavin, one of the guys who runs the shop, and have both covers of All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder being kept back for me tomorrow. On my way back I even worked out the shortest route to the shop in an almost omen-like portent. Thursday lunchtimes will never be the same again!

Thanagarminate!

2005-07-12T14:50:00.000+01:00

A war has been raging across the comics blogosphere for the last few months. A war that has divided normally civilised bloggers between two camps – those who support Rann, part-time home of Adam Strange, and those backing the mace-swinging might of Thanagar, home of at least one version of Hawkman.

While hostilities have cooled recently in the aftermath of Robby Reed’s devastating “Continuity Bomb”, tension is still running high, as evidenced by Thanagarian Scipio’s response to my post panning Green Arrow:

“Oh and the answer to how Green Arrow got into the League? The alternative was Adam Strange...”

I have reserved judgement while the juggernauts of the blogging community churn out propaganda and spin worthy of the “Coalition of the Willing”. However, after watching The Simpsons Episode “Midnight Rx” last night and hearing this…

Apu: "Shiva save me!"
Flanders: "Why don't you just call Hawkman?"

it became crystal clear where The Blog Cave’s support should lie.

If Jebus-loving Flanders hates Hawkman, then I love Hawkman.

How can anyone disagree with Apu, and his “super-team of deities”?

DEATH TO RANN!

Bat-sleep

2005-07-11T10:47:00.000+01:00

A rather uninteresting and embarrassing post, but an event I need to document anyway.

Last night, on the first night of my 2 month stay in Edinburgh, I went to the cinema to watch Batman Begins again, with the sole intention of trying to figure out the plot.

The screen was massive and there were very few chimps in the auditorium so I settled down to relax and enjoy the best Batman film ever made.

Then I fell asleep half-way through.

I kinda remember parts of the film. The first time I fell asleep was during a conversation between Falcone and Crane – ironically the first conversation the expounded on the plot.

At this point, I should have left the cinema and gone to bed but I battled on. I caught some of the Bat-tank’s chase to the cave. I missed the entirety of the Wayne Manor scenes that end up in it being burnt down. I was fully awake for the last fifteen minutes though, so was still able to be thoroughly disgusted by Bruce not saving Ra’s and letting him plummet to “death” as the train goes off the tracks.

My passing out is not representative of how high I regard the film. I was pretty exhausted yesterday. I’ll just have to go and see it again, this time with a packet of Pro-Plus just in case!

7/7

2005-07-07T13:58:00.000+01:00

When I started this blog, I wanted to talk about comics, and specifically my life through comics. No politics, religion or other subjects less important than the funny books.

However, as I live in, work in and love London I felt it would be inappropriate to neglect today’s events, just like Marvel didn’t neglect the Twin Towers incident in Amazing Spiderman #36.

The day after the fantastic news the London has won the Olympic Games – the closest thing we have on this planet to an exhibition of super-heroics – has come a day of fear and tragedy co-ordinated by cowards, whoever they may be.

One thing comics have a lot of is violence, but in the real world no violence can be tolerate by rational men.

The people responsible for these crimes must be brought to justice – notice the words “the people responsible” and not “people who look like the people responsible”. They must be made to pay for their crimes and in the process may all people be brought together in this most cosmopolitan of cities to show their strength to the world. Let those who worship evil’s might beware the power of the London’s light...

We have a winner...

2005-06-30T11:53:00.000+01:00

I sent the following to Strand Books in New York recently:

Hi guys. I'm looking for a copy of this (Ultimate Spider-Man Barnes and Noble exclusive hardcover). I have a friend who is currently living in New York. Could he come and pick up a copy of this from your store? If so, which store? Also, when you say used- is the book damaged in any way. I look forward to your reply.

Thanks

Bat-Mac

and got the following reply very promptly:

Greetings and salutations Bat-Mac.

Relative to your query, ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN COLLECTION is in Near Fine condition evincing a slight bump to the head of spine which does not affect interior pages text or art; its dustjacket is in Near Fine condition.

Pursuant to your request, ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN COLLECTION will be commended to the custody of the basement information desk of our main store located at 828 Broadway, corner of E12th Street, in NYC. It will be available for retrieval later today and held under your name for 7 days thereafter.

Thank you for your kind patronage.

Sincerely, STRAND BOOK STORE INTERNET DEPARTMENT

I hereby announce that Strand Books are the first recipients of The Blog Cave's "Giant Penny" Awards.

What qualifies them for this ridiculous award, you don't ask? It's patently obvious: any email which starts "Greetings and Salutations", uses the word "evincing" and describes a graphic novel being kept back as "commended to the custody of the basement..." deserves a giant double-headed dollar with one side scratched out, let alone a penny. I don’t even know if Pursuant to your request” is grammatically correct English!

The best I could do in reply was this:

Thank you for this- much appreciated. My associate will appear and gather it at some point over the oncoming week.

… which is absolute rubbish in comparison! Please observe that I think “oncoming” and “associate” are long words. My parents would be proud.

Look out for many more err... prize... give... Blog Cave... to... things...good

(Nibbles - highest thanks go out to you for picking this up for me. Truly legendary.)

Classic DC

2005-06-29T14:24:00.000+01:00

While in my hotel room in Edinburgh I’ve been listening to Classic FM to make myself feel colonial and opulent. During my aural perusal, I’ve heard this advert for Classic FM at the Movies:

“We’ve got Superman (cue Superman music by John Williams)…

“We’ve got Batman (cue Batman Begins music by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard)…

“We’ve even got Wonder Woman (cue voice of woman who presents something – I don’t even think it is the presenter of the “Classic FM at the Movies” show, unless Simon Bates has gotten himself a sexy female voice)

Do they even realise the significance of mentioning the DC Holy Trinity? Probably not, but Batman would approve – listening to classical music is meant to make you more intelligent, and self-improvement is one of the main man’s key traits. Take heed, children.

Notice that the advert doesn’t say:

“We’ve got Nova, we’ve got Annex, we’ve even got John Carter – Warlord of Mars…”

Deadheadinburgh

2005-06-28T15:20:00.000+01:00

So, my summer in Edinburgh has begun with a visit to a comic shop on my first day!. After work I walked to Deadhead Comics on Candlemaker Row (Sam, was this the place in Grassmarket that you mentioned?). I could have got there quicker, but Edinburgh’s three-dimensional road structure meant I got lost. Like the location of Daredevil and Spiderman’s fight the Surgeon-General on the cover of Daredevil #305, this place really is M.C.Escherland.

It was quite hard to track down the place electronically. They don’t appear to have a website, so I had to rely on Google and various shop databases, and then I called up to check whether they still existed and whether they would be open after work (considering FP Edinburgh shuts at 5:30pm most nights– Shambolic!)

It stayed open until 6:30pm, which would be very handy to pick up new issues from, were it not for the fact that they charge £2.20 for a $2.99 comic (compared to £1.80 at Orbital and £1.60 at FP Manchester (I’m assuming/hoping this will be the same at FP here).

They had a good supply of back issues – about 25 long boxes worth, all priced high (i.e. not 50p an issue! They did however have a few 25p/50p bins, so I picked up two backs for 75p – two issues of the four part “Batman/Tarzan: Claws of the Cat-Woman”. At £9.99 for 100 boards (Comicraft), it’s worth bearing in mind as a source of supplies, although I hope FP will be cheaper.

All in all, a nice independent shop and I wish it well. I hope one day I will be able to support shops like this more, but currently my aim is to support the industry while maximising product/pound, so I won’t be heading here regularly unfortunately.

World's UnPienest

2005-06-28T12:41:00.000+01:00

The phrase "This is the worst day of my life" is banded about a lot these days, but for once it might be appropriate:

SDCC PIE UPDATE: NO PIE @ THE IMAGE BOOTH

Press Release
Image Comics® is NOT bringing pie to its fans in San Diego.The Ultimate SDCC giveaway hit a snag.

Though the Image Comics giveaway was targeted to fans, the Convention Center's policy about food giveaways on the convention floor made it fiscally impossible to bring the delicious Home Run Pies® to the show."In order to give away free pie to our fans, the Convention Center wanted to charge us $500 a day plus a dollar per pie. And these are pies that retail at four for a dollar," Image publisher, Erik Larsen said. "They wanted to charge us four times the retail price of these pies so that we could give them away. That's $6500 to give away the 4000 pies that we wanted to share with our fans."

"The staff at the San Diego Comic Con has been more than helpful and, considering that these are delicious Home Run Pies®, more than a little enthusiastic about the prospect of sampling some of the pies themselves. We have no reservations about dealing with them or setting up at the show, this is a purely Convention Center issue.

"To keep its end of the bargain with the fans, Image Comics is actively seeking another venue to get the pies out to its loyal readers."We appreciate the understanding and support of our fans and we're making every effort to bring them our favorite taste treat."

Stop by the Image Comics island of booths and check out the finest and most diverse selection of comic books and graphic novels to be had.

The only plus from all this is the brilliantly-plentiful number of times that the word pie has been used in this article. Beautiful in its way...

InCap(lan)able Reporter - Part Four

2005-06-22T17:58:00.000+01:00

The trouble is that psychological realism only makes the simple creed of superheroism – one man against manifold evil – look silly.

The concept of one man as the irresistible force against the immoveable object is as old as time itself. It is how many people imagine themselves and their place in the world to a greater or lesser extent.

If anything psychological realism makes the superhero, certainly Batman, seem less “silly”. You can only assume that people going to see this have bought into the concept of a man dressed as a Bat, and his reasons seem perfectly acceptable.

The only reason why you may find the concept of one man standing up for what he believes in, and succeeding in both his internal and external battles, silly is if you lack imagination and have little faith in yourself and the strength of humanity.

Ironically, Caplan both addresses her point and misses it entirely. The operative words in the above paragraph are “psychological realism”, which is different from “realism”. The Batman concept does not intend to be realistic; comic readers do not expect Batman comics to be realistic and film-going norms have the ability to suspend belief for two hours to watch a man use hypersonics as a weapon to distract criminals and the police. What people want, in an age where even Daleks need to self-analyse their worth (Doctor Who Episode 6), is to understand how characters can be driven to do what they do and they want the methods they use to be internally consistent with little use of Deus Ex Machina techniques. Batman Begins achieved all of these, and more.

The second half of Batman Begins asks to be judged on thrills, but Nolan is no action director – even an OJ-style chase in a Bat-tank feels slow.

The chase scene was anything but slow, although the property damage was gratuitous and there were not enough repercussions from the cost of the destruction caused.

“It’s not who you are underneath but what you do that defines you” says sweetheart Rachel (Katie Holmes) primly – which is fine for supermen in masks (and for that matter, actors) but shatters this film’s sophisticated pose.

There is a small prize going for anyone who can explain what this sentence means – that includes Caplan, who I suspect is unsure itself.

InCap(lan)able Reporter - Part Three

2005-06-22T11:59:00.000+01:00

Except for Chateau Wayne,

I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

…where butler Alfred (Michael Caine) resides, Christopher (Memento) Nolan’s Gotham is dark in word and deed - a teeming murk run by mob boss Falcone (Tom Wilkinson, terrific) and wacko psychiatrist Dr Crane (Cillian Murphy).

Tom Wilkinson was not terrific. He was “good” – another error by wacko writer (Nina Caplan).

But the atmosphere evaporates when this intelligent, tortured young man initiates do-goodery by rigging up a cave full of masks and baddie-battering gadgets.

Where to start? Any reader with a non-zero IQ can’t read this without being embarrassed for the writer and its family. No reason is volunteered for the loss of mood. As the film is about a “superhero”, which I hope to God Caplan knew before she saw it, then the atmosphere is generated by the transformation from individual man to incorruptible idea – a symbol that people can believe in. Infact, Bruce wants to make the Bat-symbol mean to the citizens of Gotham what a Police Badge should – trust and faith in the integrity of those who stand behind it and their ability to protect and punish.

To become a vigilante, and to deliver the justice that the corrupt system can’t Bruce adopts an identity which he feels will assist him.

He needs a base of operations, so uses his cave hidden beneath Wayne Manor – which is practical and convenient.

His “baddie-battering gadgets” are to him what a gun and baton are to the police. His costume has been developed for military use and should be issued to the Police, but the system does not value the lives of its agents. He will not use a gun, so fashions shurikens in the shape of the Bat for added effect. He requires a method of getting around the city commensurate with him modus operandi and to develop his mysterious persona, so he “wears” a glider, which double serves as a cape and aids the impression he creates.

This all seems sensible to me.

Alfred excepted, one good cop (Gary Oldman) is his only ally – he doesn’t even get a Robin.

The point of the “Year One” setting for the movie is to examine Batman’s origins. Of course he wouldn’t have a Robin. What possible reason would he have to co-opt a child into his dark world so early in his career. How would Robin have been introduced within the context and atmosphere of this film? By not providing an answer to these question, Caplan loses the right to a fair trail and should be tried as a War Criminal the next time she is caught dropping litter and letter.

InCap(lan)able Reporter - Part Two

2005-06-22T10:28:00.000+01:00

Apologies to those who looked forward to more Nina-mination yesterday - I had to return some video tapes...

After all-action therapy from mysterious Ducard (Liam Neeson) he returns to his hometown, corruption-riddled Gotham City, for some serious spring-cleaning.

As the teaching that Ducard provided was predominantly ninja-based martial arts training, it was of course “all-action”. Instead of pointing out the obvious- that the film concentrated solely on Bruce’s physical training - and balancing this theoretical stand-point against the difficulty of constructing a montage sequence demonstrating Bruce’s development into a detective, Nina once again shows a lack of the astuteness and observation needed for a good reviewer, and normal, unretarded, human being.

She also refers to "Gotham" as "Gotham City". As far as I can recall, the film deliberately avoided referring to "Gotham" as "Gotham City". This was especially apparent in the fact the “GCPD” are just the “GPD” in the film. I have consulted the official film website, and it refers to “Gotham” as “Gotham”. Why would you refer to a place by the wrong name, unless you were incompetent? It should be sacked immediately and replaced with a chimp, randomly hitting a keyboard and producing material infinitely better than this buffoonery.

World's Pienest

2005-06-22T01:47:00.000+01:00

A brief interlude from the abuse to highlight an issue our humble (that's a play on words, btw) community has been awaiting since the Silver Age:

Comics and Pies - together at last (sic):

Image Comics® is bringing something new to its fans.

Something no other comic book company has EVER brought its fans.

PIE.

http://www.newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=8fabbc6b38af5c4dc6de05c5363ce156&threadid=36058

World's Pienest indeed!

InCap(lan)able Reporter - Part One

2005-06-20T16:54:00.000+01:00

Incapable Crusader

This is the worst title to any article I have ever read, in any medium and in any language. I assume (and it is a big assumption, as we do not wish to give Caplan credit for anything) that it is a play on the famous phrase “Caped Crusader”, used to describe the world’s greatest person, Batman. However, it fails because it is purely an attempted wordplay – Caplan offers no arguments for why the film is “Incapable”. Indeed this is not commensurate with the film’s “Good” rating. Some was trying to be a clever little thing, wasn’t she Nina, yes she was, yes she was…

Batman Begins (12A)
Running Time: 139 mins

The running time must be wrong, and I suspect that “it” thought the film was called something other than Batman Begins and had to have this corrected by her editor, so we’re putting this down as another elementary mistake from the queen of chimpery.

In Batman Begins, billionaire orphan Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is a young man as adrift as the Batman franchise – and that’s saying a lot.

What does that even mean? No comparison can be drawn between Bruce’s quest for knowledge and enlightenment to achieve the related goals of dealing with his parent’s death and developing the means to fight injustice where-ever it may rear it’s ugly head, and the unspeakabelness that was the final three Batman films of the 90’s – and yes, I include the farce called “Batman Returns” in this. Immediately the writer proves that it lacks the ability to understand intellectually-taxing storylines whose complexity dwarfs the average man’s comprehension.

More insults tomorrow!

InCap(lan)able Reporter - Prologue

2005-06-20T16:46:00.000+01:00

Here's the offending document (see previous post). I actually had to type this up from the dirty rag myself. Over the next few posts, I will demonstrate how every word of this travesty against lexicality is factually, morally and physically incorrect.

Incapable Crusader

Batman Begins (12A)
Running Time: 139 mins

In Batman Begins, billionaire orphan Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is a young man as adrift as the Batman franchise – and that’s saying a lot.

After all-action therapy from mysterious Ducard (Liam Neeson) he returns to his hometown, corruption-riddled Gotham City, for some serious spring-cleaning. Except for Chateau Wayne, where butler Alfred (Michael Caine) resides, Christopher (Memnto) Nolan’s Gotham is dark in word and deed - a teeming murk run by mob boss Falcone (Tom Wilkinson, terrific) and wacko psychiatrist Dr Crane (Cillian Murphy). But the atmosphere evaporates when this intelligent, tortured young man initiates do-goodery by rigging up a cave full of masks and baddie-battering gadgets.

Alfred excepted, one good cop (Gary Oldman) is his only ally – he doesn’t even get a Robin. The trouble is that psychological realism only makes the simple creed of superheroism – one man against manifold evil – look silly. The second half of Batman Begins asks to be judged on thrills, but Nolan is no action director – even an OJ-style chase in a Bat-tank feels slow. “It’s not who you are underneath but what you do that defines you” says sweetheart Rachel (Katie Holmes) primly – which is fine for supermen in masks (and for that matter, actors) but shatters this film’s sophisticated pose.

Rating: 3 stars (Good)

Photo caption: Behind the mask: Batman Begins boasts some good acting but its repetition of the one-crusader-against-evil cliché lets down its sophisticated sheen

I feel unclean just posting that. Off to the bathroom to wash, then back to destroy it, letter by letter.

The End of All Knowledge

2005-06-17T12:25:00.000+01:00

I've never been one for melodrama (not strictly true), so believe me when I say my life is falling apart around me.

Following on from my embarrassing failure last night in the first round of results, something even worse happened this morning.

I was on the DLR this morning and grabbed a copy of the Metro.

For those of you who may have lived on Earth-2 for a while, let me enlighten you. The Metro is a publishing phenomenon. It is the first urban national newspaper. Metro was launched in March 1999 as a free, colour newspaper for morning commuters. At first it was only available in London, but now commuters in eight of Britain's major cities can pick up a free copy of the Metro as they travel to work in the morning. Every weekday morning some 1,006,821 copies are distributed across the UK making Metro the world's largest free newspaper and the fourth biggest newspaper in the UK.
Metro is a perfect mix of national and international news wrapped around local information - listings, travel and life - our unbeatable guide to the best in going out and entertainment. Metro's news stories are tightly written, so that the reader can take in all the key facts quickly. And Metro has no political axe to grind. Metro has looked at the lives of modern workers and gives them news and tips on travel health, fashion and the Web in our Hot Style, Health Metro, Travel Metro and @Metro sections.
Metro is distributed in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds, Sheffield, Newcastle, Glasgow and Edinburgh covering a combined area with a population of more than 18 million.
The Metro was my only supply of news. And it was absolutely brilliant. So dependent was I on picking up a copy of the Metro, left by another commuter on the bus or train ready to be perused by another ratracer, for even the slightest insight into all worldly affairs that I initiated the practice of referring to it as the “source of all knowledge”, and demanding that people say “source of all knowledge” immediately after using the word Metro.

The operative word in the above paragraph is “was” .

Attracted by the banner on the front page (“The Caped Crusader’s back in yet another film. It’s dark and full of gadgets… but is it any good?”) I turned to Page 31 for Nina Caplan’s review, expecting a five-star rating and psycho-linguistic imagery of the woman “enjoying” herself at every thought of the Bat.

This was not what happened. Over the course of the next few days I will be taking the review apart word-by-word to show to the world (Sam) how flawed it is.

In the meantime, the Metro is now the “source of no knowledge”. Please use this title every time you have to use the M-Word

Fail me once...

2005-06-17T01:50:00.000+01:00

... shame on you

Fail me twice - shame on ME

World's Loneliest

2005-06-16T00:47:00.000+01:00

It's almost one in the morning, and I've just realised that I will always be apart from the rest of humanity.

No other Blogger has listed Annex as one of their favourite books.

I'm still alive, but why?

EDIT: Changed time of this post to reflect the... errr... time it was posted. Hence comments may sound a little surreal.

Y, Y, Y (Y, Y, Y)

2005-06-15T16:49:00.000+01:00

It’s hard to conceive for those who know me, but there once was a time when I was ashamed of my nerd heritage.

I can’t remember exactly when that time was though. But I’m pretty sure it existed. I never ever owned up to being an Actuary, or studying Maths and Physics and I'm not sure I even admitted reading comics.

Then, one day, I woke up, and didn’t care. I took pride in being different, and having a worthwhile life. Some people reach this realization through religion, and I realised it under the Shadow of the Bat.

For a while I got quite evangelical, and still am to an extent. I always try and introduce girlfriends (who quickly become ex-es) to Sleeper, Fables or the Giant-Sized Man Thing.

My current attitude is one of arrogance. I portray comic reading as the height of human mental endeavour. In the last three discussions I’ve had with norms, I’ve dropped in the line “Yeah, I don’t blame you for not reading comics. They contain intellectually-taxing storylines whose complexity dwarfs the average man’s comprehension.”

The sad thing is, instead of all of them saying “F*** Off, you arse”, two of these people said “Well, find me a comic that you think I’ll enjoy. I promise to read it and I’ll make up my own mind”.

Shot through the foot by a gun that was loaded by me!

“Watchmen” and “The Dark Knight Returns” are often touted as the sort of books to give to chimps to make them realise what a great medium we love. However, I’ve given Watchmen to people (who I once thought of as being intelligent) and they have struggled. The Dark Knight Returns (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) is still, in the minds of the hoi polloi, a super-hero comic, and the pretentious quasi-intelligentsia I hang out with who are above such childish things.

So, if not the two biggest classics in the history of literature, then what?

Y.

Why?

1) No super-heroes. So inferior people don’t feel stupid reading it.
2) Nice clear art. Nothing complex. No Sienkiewicz inks or crazy Arkham Asylum paint-jobs.
3) No clever page layouts. No one struggling with the reading order of speech bubbles.
4) What lovely, realisitc colours!
5) Everyone loves Yorick. What greater fantasy is there for women than the thought of every last man getting killed off. What greater fantasy for a man than having a world full of women to himself.
6) It takes 90 minutes to read the first trade. This is about the length of an HBO pilot (why I’m describing a program as an HBO pilot when I live in the UK is beyond me.) Even the most stupid of norms can hold their attention for that long, especially when the story is broken up into five separate parts.
7) IMHO BKV understands the concept of the cliff-hanger better than any other writer in comics. His final pages always leave you wishing you were 30 days closer to death.
8) The ongoing nature of the series should entice norms to keep coming back for more… More … MORE!

Y is the absolute number-one best book to give to norms. Discuss (5 marks)

Milky Milky

2005-06-09T14:57:00.000+01:00

Newsarama have a Press Release on the Batman Begins "Got Milk?" campaign poster:

http://www.newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=64d2fb04ab6b27f0ea12920d26adc0f0&threadid=35563

My only familiarity with these comes from comics. Basically, they feature a celebrity (fictional or otherwise), predominantly with a cult-theme tie in; for example Buffy, Lara Croft and The Incredible Hulk (now there's a threesome worth thinking about), posing with a milk moustache and some comment about how good milk is.

However, I'm not here to expound the benefits of cow piss. I'm just wanted to share with you all how pleased I am that Wayne Tower is Canary Wharf!

I knew I spotted Clayface at The Slug and Lettuce last week.

No, that was just the barmaid.

My So-Called Strife

2005-06-09T11:05:00.000+01:00

Nibbles, currently in New York, sent this to me today:

"They're getting a new server with no download limits, so no cap on 2GB a day from next week!!"

He is referring to the Essential Mix download site which we use. This follows on from his recent text message, letting me know that instead of downloading three a day like in London he can now go to bed and set 17 going. Happy days, my friends, happy days.

Always thinking no steps ahead, I replied:

"What are we going to do once we get them all?"

It then dawned on me that this situation very much parallels the history of my comic collection:

Initially plan is to get what can listen to/read and be very selective.
Gradually, with good intentions ("You never know where you may find hidden gems") mixes/comics increase in number.
Soon, plan becomes "Eventually I'm going to own them all, so might as well start getting them randomly now" (yes, I did once think that I would own every comic ever published" (!))
Speed at which mixes/comics are obtained exceeds speed that they can be consumed.
Soon admin issues start - "Where am I going to keep them all?” Space and cost - in time and money - of processing (filing/bagging and boarding) becomes a big concern.
The amount of effort/money needed just to maintain the collection reaches a ridiculous limit.
You consider "deleting" stuff as you get desperate.
When you think about what you want to get rid of, you can’t bring yourself to jettison anything.
Acceptance – your life is lame but you love it!

Eat that, Kubler-Ross!

Once I reach a definitive conclusion on how to deal with this, I'll let you all know. The sky will have turned red by then.

Svampbob Fyrkant

2005-06-05T22:51:00.000+01:00

Sweden is the second greatest country in the world behind Japan. Here are reäsöns why:

Annie lives here
The love of my life, Princess Madeleine, lives here (I saw one of her houses today!)
They show animated Batman and Superman + Smallville and Desperate Housewives, in English with Swedish subtitles, on terrestrial TV.
Sofiero, the world's greatest beer... (well, technically the world's second greatest beer - it was Silver Medalist at the World Beer Cup 2004)
... which tastes great after eight (count 'em McGranty\Eddy G) Hot Dogs...
... polished off with an entire packet of Bilar.
They have a massive comic-book library in the centre of town (Sergelstorg, Kulturhuset) in full view of normal people's sight. This place was unbelievable. I was first attracted to it as we walked up from the "Annual Food Festival" at Kungstradgarden and I spotted a massive mural on the front- a beautiful amalgam of The Bat, Olive Oil, Jugde Death and Astro Boy to name a few. We divided in and we were rewarded with somewhere I could happily spend a week - Graphic novels from the US, Japan, England and Continental Europe, in both English and Swedish.

Chatting to the librarian it appears that thisestablishmenttablishement is frequented by norms. 100,000 norms (last year) to be precise. I explained how in England reading comic books in public was prohibited by an Act of Society.

"Not in this town" said the freak book-keeper with the wavy Sartre-esque beard. I didn't really register his confusion. I was still wondering how a library in a foreign country could have an entire run of Judge Dredd books as a small part of its graphic novel collection.

Next door was a cafeteria, undoubtedly selling hot dogs and beer. Like I said, this place is a paradise. I already have a form (in English) to join this crazy "Bibliotek".
I'd be committing a cardinal sin if I didn't mention that the women are horrfically more attractive than the Anglo-Irish nastiness we have to put up, but I think that's blatantly obvious to anyone with at least one of the their five senses still intact.

And the one downside:

These "Swedes" don't appear to reprint any DC in a monthly fomat. This is a problem I've had on my preceding five trips to Sweden. I've seen Spider-man, X-Men and Transformers, but no Batman.

NO BATMAN! I HATE SVERIGE! HELVETE!

Stock Taking

2005-06-04T11:39:00.000+01:00

In Sweden's capital at the moment being very well looked after by Annie. So well looked after in fact that I've managed to get a round of Bizzaro Comics in. Absolutely hilarious!

Off to the System Bolaget now to get some beers for the Sweden-Malta football match. In Sweden, if you want beer above a certain alcoholic percentage (3.5%) to you have to go to one of these state-run off licenses. Veterans of various Malmö expeditions will be well aware of this.

Check out these crazy Swedish letters: Ö Ä Å ¤

Also crazy: They show Batman And Superman on TV. So much like us.

I LOVE SVERIGE!

And it’s Sin City… Sin City F.C…

2005-06-03T11:51:00.000+01:00

Attended advanced screening of Sin City last night with Houghton. That’s right- I saw it 18 hours before the rest of you chimps. That makes me better than you (unless you went to the premiere, or made the film, in which case I want to be you).

In summary, it’s an excellent movie. Morally duplicitous, and at times completely bankrupt of any notions of right or wrong (how the average American copes with that is beyond me!). The acting is edgy, the setting atmospheric and the violence pretty gratuitous. The greatest film called “Sin City” ever made!

I wish I could write more. I could make comments like “this film evokes the atmosphere of early 1940s film-noir crime capers”. But I can’t. I’ve never seen any 1940s film-noir. I would love to make comparisons to the original comic books, but I’ve never read them (not sure how that happened, I was probably too engrossed in issues of Annex or Askani’s Son). (However, I have got “The Hard Goodbye” (signed by Frank Miller and dedicated to yours truly!) and will be reading it on the way to Stockholm this weekend (undoubtedly leading to an assault on Mile High Comic where I clean up the rest of the books).

That’s probably the area that interests me most- the translation from the comic to the film, especially with all the comments I’ve heard about Rodriguez using the comic book as a story board. I read an interesting article in one of the broadsheets which has frighteningly shots of identical looking scenes in the film and panels form the comic book. So, I’m going to find out more about this, read the Sin City Graphic novels, watch the film again in a few weeks and then get back to you. Hopefully with something better than “the film was… err… good. Very… very… good”.

In the mean time go and see it! And, more importantly, read the Sin City Graphic novels. And now normal people can enjoy them, without looking like complete nerds. Similar to the Harry Potter re-covering (look at me, I’m reading a crap, derivative CHILDREN’S book without a crap, derivative children’s cover) Dark Horse have released all the graphic novels in a new format that makes it look like you’re reading a word-book. You too can enjoy comics without the horrific stares of dread I get from my fellow passengers as I unbag a copy of “John Carter, Warlord of Mars” to read on the DLR every morning.

Join us!

O.C./D.C.

2005-06-02T11:07:00.000+01:00

Last night, in the build up to the season finale of Desperate Housewives, I passed the time watching "The O.C" with my housemates.

I’ve watched one episode previous to this, and so the only value I could add was repetitive comments of “She’s fit” whenever anything female appeared on screen.

However, although I am a fickle whore, one particular lady caught my eye. A lady who satisfies every facet of the strict criteria I’ve laid down to allow love to enter my life (see later). I have fulfilled the vow I made on the grave of a previous relationship to rid my life of the emptiness that haunts my existence. Those who have known me for the last couple of years will appreciate the significance of this announcement:

I’ve finally found the fit bird in comics.

Her name is Reed, and I love her – scratch that, I’m in love with her. She’s 23 (my lucky number – seriously!) and beautiful, and to quote “thinks Iron Man’s original armour is better than his Ultimate armour”. She also thinks Seth could be “the next Brian Bendis”, and wades in on the “Storm vs. Cyclops” debate.

Let’s snap back to reality (oh, there goes gravity). My bond with Reed is an imaginary story. But there must be an Earth-Prime Equivalent. So, I re-issue the challenge which has dominated every waking hour (all two of them) since Saturday 24th May 2003 when entering the main hall of the UK Comics Festival in Bristol: If you read more than 10 titles a week (preferably D.C), are female, objectively attractive, support Thanagar and live in London (though not exclusively- anywhere in the world would be considered) then please drop me a line.

Many thanks

This is only a test

2005-06-02T00:04:00.000+01:00

Feels like there should be something poignant written here. I am, after all, about to join the haloed world of Internet Nerderatti. COME ON!

However, I am instead going to submit this post and then come up with something that people might actually want to read for the next one.

Please be awed by the first blog-decision - a black background to symbolise the darkness of the BlogCave.

Many Thanks