Free Comments Day II - No Rob in Batman II!

Scipio @ Absorbascon posted this a while back (Monday June 27th 2005):

“The Absorbascon does not shy away from the tough issues of our time. Should Robin be introduced in the next Batman film and, if so, who could play him? Oh, I know what some of you will say. It's stupid and unrealistic to have the Dark Knight saddled with a kid in a red, yellow, and green circus costume. Hmm...okay, I'll grant you that. But it's also stupid and unrealistic to dress up like a bat and fight crime using rope, smoke bombs, and boomerangs, yet Batman pulls that off pretty well, too. Do you want a cinematic Robin? What should he be like?”

Bat-Mac @ The Blog Cave most definitely does not want a cinematic Robin, at least not for a while. The following lines of hyperbole elaborate on why I think this is a ridiculous idea:

Second film: Introduce Robin

Third film: First Robin becomes Nightwing and Batman gets a new Robin

Fourth Film: New Robin dies. Batman gets revenge, but in the process breaks his back

Fifth Film: Batman uses time off to launch satellite to spy on all metahumans (who have been introduced in 50 concurrent films) and recruit an army of Robins to do his bidding, whatever that may be

Sixth film: One Year Later

There should be no Robin in the second film. Why do they have to keep introducing new characters in these films? Is it because people are already bored by characters which they have seen on screen for a maximum of two hours? The way it’s done takes up too much time and detracts from a good plot.

Now that Batman is established, they should explore his development into uber-Batman, which was neglected in this film, probably because it’s difficult to do an interesting montage sequence of someone becoming a great detective. My ultimate Batman film would make the world realise why he is the greatest thing of all time ever. Remember, this is a man who:

1. Fought off the White Martians (JLA: New World Order) leading to Superman dubbing him “The most dangerous man alive”.
2. Can learn a language up to intermediate level in a 6 hour flight (Batman: The Death of Innocents – The Horror of Landmines)
3. Took down the JLA (JLA: Tower of Babel and again (kind of) in The OMAC Project)
4. Has no problems slugging Superman with merely a reinforced glove and some ‘hypersonics’ (Batman#612)

…to name but a few object lessons (as Jesus would say) of his brilliance. In no other media outside comics, apart from of course the animated series, have I seen Batman evince any of these qualities.

However, Scipio seemed to think that the only way to do this was via the following storytelling device. He said, in reply:

“Strong point, Mac! So in essence you're saying the movie should follow the standard pattern for a villain intro story:

1. Hero meets villain for first time and loses, but, educated by the experience, is better prepared for the next time.

2. Hero encounters villain, stops theft, but villain escapes. Inspired, hero formulates a plan for capturing the villains.

3. Hero encounters villain, succeeds in capturing him thanks to newfound experience and plan.”

I want to stay clear of the clichés. It can be done given a serious script and a concerted attempt to move away from a formulaic superhero film (which Batman Begins attempted in its first half but soon degenerated into stereotypes and the obligatory clean wrap-up). The fact the Joker will be the next villain is an excellent opportunity to do that and showcase all of the Bat’s talents, not just his amazing ability to beat the crap out of everyone on the planet (at once).

No idea how to make a blockbuster film out of it though! Maybe we need a less commercial, “Arthouse” (ArtCave?) Batman to give us a glimpse at the cinematic potential of the World’s Greatest Superhero. Or maybe we should just accept that, at the end of the day, these are comic book characters, and as such they were not created to be feasible properties in other media. I look forward to a life of progressively better but still flawed films that I can moan about (but not the good moaning!), right here… in… The Blog Cave!